Sorry slashers and fan fiction enthusiasts, but none of it's real. Ian McKellen, the only openly gay man thought to be "cool" by fourteen year old boys, says that there was no homo hanky panky going on during Lord of the Rings filming. On the adorably named "E-Post" section of his website McKellen answers a reader's question about rampant rumors of hot Orlando Bloom-on-hobbit action by saying: "This gossip is all news to me. Elijah, Dominic and Orlando introduced me to their girlfriends during shooting." The gays were convinced the whispers were true! But Sir Ian wouldn't lie. Ah well. I guess the fantasies will just have to live on in my writing. Like that Bilbo/Gollum 'ship I'm working on that starts so promisingly: "It was nearly time for elevenses in the Shire, but Gollum had already been nibbling on his precious all morning." Delightful! [Towleroad] Two more romantic slash images after the jump.

12:10 PM on Wed Mar 26 2008
By Richard
2,125 views
25 comments

Comments

mitchel_stevens at 12:34 PM on 03/26/08
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Or as Matt Good plans, Gimli/Legolas.
Hey Legolas. Your ass looks fine...like my axe.
Fuzzy_duffel_bag at 12:37 PM on 03/26/08
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Jeez, it's all just hugging. Sex it up, nerdballs!
VirusWithShoes at 12:41 PM on 03/26/08
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At least someone's trying to work out their wizard issues.
VirusWithShoes at 12:42 PM on 03/26/08
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All elves are whores, anyway - everyone knows that.
beirut at 12:47 PM on 03/26/08
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ive never seen anything less appealing.
maybe of gollum was somehow involved, things would be a lot more exciting.
rantmagazine:boo hoo at 12:49 PM on 03/26/08
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Rubbish. They ALL slept together. Gandalf is playing the media game!
CodePink at 12:51 PM on 03/26/08
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Lord of the Cock Rings
WideStanceRomancer at 12:51 PM on 03/26/08
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Is Frodo wearing The Ring as a Prince Albert in the first photo? That I want to see.
Itsjustcatnip at 12:52 PM on 03/26/08
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I realize they were all very dirty in the movie, but do the romantic slash artists have to make them look so creepy?
WideStanceRomancer at 12:56 PM on 03/26/08
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@WideStanceRomancer: But, then if he was, I guess we couldn't see him. . .unless The Ring needs full penetration to operate fully.
VirusWithShoes at 12:56 PM on 03/26/08
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Samwise was such a bottom. That picture's all wrong.
Colonel Mustard at 01:00 PM on 03/26/08
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My LotR slashfic is called "Pork the Orc", but I'm not giving away anything else!

Oh, except I should clarify that when I talk repeatedly about the "single-eyed beast", I do NOT mean Sauron.
the-cubicle-dweller at 01:14 PM on 03/26/08
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Get Danielle Steele to write gay, put these pictures on the covers and the product will fly off the shelves.
WideStanceRomancer at 01:16 PM on 03/26/08
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@VirusWithShoes: True, he is in the classic romance novel top position, but perhaps dear Sam is letting Frodo know he's freshly douched with fine herbs from Rivendell and is ready for some baggin.'
SeeingI at 01:20 PM on 03/26/08
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Samwise is suspiciously buff-looking for such a roly-poly hobbit. And if Elijah has that much definition, I'm an Ent. Realistic it up, people! They're totally a chub/chaser couple!
kingsquiddish at 01:25 PM on 03/26/08
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Do you think elves and hobbits are circumcised?
Knucklehead Babylon at 01:29 PM on 03/26/08
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Man, the Bible is so weird.
VirusWithShoes at 01:31 PM on 03/26/08
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@kingsquiddish: Only in post-production.
WideStanceRomancer at 01:48 PM on 03/26/08
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@kingsquiddish: I think not, since a hobbit knob would be too small for editing, and the elves really have a flair for looking good in a hood.
In Other News... at 01:51 PM on 03/26/08
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@kingsquiddish: @VirusWithShoes: And they call it a Director's Cut.
In Other News... at 01:52 PM on 03/26/08
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@kingsquiddish: @VirusWithShoes: Or, "out-takes."
kingsquiddish at 02:38 PM on 03/26/08
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@In Other News...: As long as it ends up on the 'cutting room floor'. this could go on forever!!!
mladen at 03:01 PM on 03/26/08
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Elijah's girlfriend, um...that would be "girl" in the Elizabethan sense, Your Sir Ianship?
moff at 03:20 PM on 03/26/08
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Between Gandalf and Dumbledore, being the most powerful wizard in the world seems like kind of a waste. I mean, you don't need magical powers to get other guys to have sex with you.
In Other News... at 03:22 PM on 03/26/08
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@kingsquiddish: "Don't worry, edits don't hurt."