Gawker
Hey nerds, guess what? Being smart is no longer an excuse for being fat. The "ripsters" thing Nick Sylvester made up comes to terrifying life in today's Observer, where Doree Shafrir investigates tall tales of New York boys who read contemporary fiction but secretly have defined abdominal muscles. These literary Lotharios are real, and they're totally embarrassed about how they look good shirtless:
"You don't want to be seen as trying too hard or being vain or being someone who cares about what they look like," a magazine editor says. "Because of the exertion and effort, it implies caring too much in a way that isn't cool." The editor is so ashamed of his uncool hotness that he refused to be named.
The article gives everyone — flabby nerds, dumb meatheads and bright athletes alike — reason to feel insecure about their fitness levels, intelligence and lack of ironic distance, respectively. But it's a boon for ladies who wish to pretend that their good-looking boyfriend is smart because he wears glasses. This city does great things for people. [NYO]
Comments
That's the worst news I've heard in a long time.
Signed,
Fat Nerd
I have great abs. My problem is the lipid layer hiding them.
Um, you're missing a photo.
I'll stick to the fatties for me, thanks.
no no no no NO.
scrawny nerds, please fight back.
(but not in like, a fist fight. because you would loose against Awesome-Abdominal Nerd Man)
@mathnet: I told them to delete mine.
I'd say you're missing two photos...
@Conbon: You have to be embarrassed about your hot body. Ohhh, so she's right. Josh's doesn't belong.
6-pack abs are for kids. Go for a kegger like mine.
did you have to get me all worked up so early with pics of harry potter and zac... damn!
Where's Christian Siriano? What a hot tranny mess.
Good tags, Rebecca.
This is old news to anyone who owns "The Grind: Next Generation" workout videos starring Stephen Hawking.
I like to wear fat pants and tuck a pillow under my t-shirt so no one knows I'm totally ripped. It's embarrassing.
@fiveinchtaint: Thank you.
Love the Pareene Tag.
Eh, I prefer my nerds doughy and untoned, like Mr. Lodwick.
"Beauty and the Geek" has clearly run out of nerds. This season, the guys are pretty much all buffer and less freaky-smart than in seasons past, despite the fake glasses and bowl haircuts.
GODDAMN PAREENE!
@fiveinchtaint: NERRRRRRRRRRDS! Go get
em, Ogre!
(Pats stomach.) Sigh.
@fiveinchtaint: Ha! Stop making me love you more.
@Nard38: [HA. YOU. ARE. MAKING. ME. LAUGH.]
Where's wookie so Delahaye's pic can be included?
But it's a boon for ladies who wish to pretend that their good-looking boyfriend is smart because he wears glasses and sensitive because he reads books! This city does great things for people.
Still giggling over that line. Bravo.
@fiveinchtaint: Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands!
I love when people write trend stories about stuff they wish would happen.
Yeah and um, what about Josh? He was a total effete dork and then he took his shirt off for that roof picture and the dude was RIPPED. I haven't forgotten, and neither has my vagina.
You do know, don't you, that when you get your abs via yoga versus via weight machines and crunches, that it's okay? You're not uncool. Really.
@TedSez: Perhaps they are buffer and dumber (comparatively), but their social acumen is pretty much what we've come to expect from the Geeks of seasons past.
@everyoneelse: Feel free to dogpile we who watch this show.
This story will be topic No. 1 tonight at the Ab Lounge.
Doree's point isn't that these people are embarrassed about how good they look, but that they are embarrassed that they care about how good they look. There's a difference, and the latter is far more interesting.
i get enough exercise battling children at the Nintendo Store in Smash Brothers (note: goddamn right I win.)
not to mention, do you know how much of a work-out it is to get into Forbidden Planet on a Wednesday and then get on the train, walk up those stairs, walk (again!) to my local bar and then drink beer while reading said comics?
It's hard fucking work.
i hope her next piece is about her postcards from yo momma tumblr. it would be so meta.
@Conbon: "far"? Really?
@MattGaymon: I think yes! It's one more piece of the "What the fuck is wrong with you people in Brooklyn?" puzzle.
@Conbon: I'm not playing, even my grandma can put that puzzle together now. Upside down.
[Redacted]:
They're just jealous. It's what's on the inside that matters.
xxxooo,
Mom
@Conbon: There's a shameful vanity about you.
Zac Efron's publicist is either freaking out that you labeled him a "nerd," or is secretly relieved he's getting some negative publicity other than the gay rumors.
Zack wears make up and as everyone in Hollywood knows is gay,so that makes perfect sense that he goes to the gym,the rest of the story could be put in one line;Breaking news,ugly guys going to gym too.
@MattGaymon: Does she work out?
Stupid sexy Flanders!
@mathnet: Shameful for whom?
Just don't tell me that Michael Cera is secretly buff. You will totally ruin all my fantasies.
@Unfun: you should donate the technology behind your vagina's memory capacity to science... that's amazing
@fiveinchtaint: on gaywalker... well said! er well shown!
@Nard38: HA!
What the fuck is a frush?
The odd meta-trend here is that this is Doree's second article about gyms/working out/exercise in the last couple of month or so.
As long as they can continue to be the vital collegiate engine that creates the bra bombs, illegal closed circuit tvs, popcorn/laser tricks, tanning invitationals and genrealized parade mayhem, they can be as buff as they want.
@winniemc: Ha!!! Well-played!
+ Watch video
@DorothyMantooth: Oops! That video is... weird.
Try this one instead.
@kingsquiddish: Unfun's vagina was thrown out of Vegas for counting cards about ten years ago. True story.
Goddamn Pareene!
@the supergoddess: Oh -- you beat me to it. Even so, I think it bears repeating.
Silverback gorilla is out?
@Conbon: [www.joshuadavidstein.com]
Who knew you could fashion a set of barbells out of duck-taped Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Star Trek DVD box sets...I'll tell you who knew!
Will someone identify the guy in the bike jersey for me?
Living in the environs of MIT, I desperately hope this is true.
@crotchety: That's me, Luke, from the article in the bike jersey.
@Conbon: Some of them are embarrassed. Personally I think those dudes are fairly silly. Own it!