Dude is really young to have shingles. It could be flat-out bad luck, or he may just have to start taking better care of himself, maybe slow down and go back to the family pharmacy business in DC.

...And I still get two more wishes?

I totally clicked on 'shingles' because I thought it would lead me to all the other shingle stories on Gawker. But alas there are none. What a tease.

So give him aluminum siding!

Thank you, Rodney.

Shingles freakin' hurt!

Darn it. I thought James Mercer finally released that Susanna Hoffs' cover album.

I don't think anyone has ever written a college essay that makes life worth living. He's screwed.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Contagious

If he does off himself, will college essays be the new mean blogs?

"this week's essays had better make life worth living" -- the kind of line he would have picked up at Princeton, no doubt.

You don't have to know how to write already to get into Yale?

@GollyG: No, you just have to come from a wealthy New York family with connections in New Haven.

The only thing I believe is that the essays from this week's class made life worth living.

Will there be a "I'm picking up Valtrex for something dirrerent this time" chat with his pharmacist?

@Toomanytomatoes: Anyone can have connections in New Haven. Just venture west of Dwight Street.

Everything is Irritated

Yes. Yes, it is your fault.

I know two other people who have shingles. It's the new black!

Nooo, don't use that picture -- you might give somebody ideas about running up there and try to do their own version of that article. Worst of all it could be Gay Talese himself. Unless you just gave a headline idea to the Onion, which would be fine.