JC Chasez: 'Chace Crawford Is Not My Bum-Junkie'

As rumors that JC Chasez and Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford are doing the naked pretzel reach a fever pitch—certainly prodded along by our own high-level informant's eyewitness account of the two sharing a poolside cabana at the Roosevelt—the second-most-talented NSYNC member called into Kiss FM 104.7 today to deny, deny, deny. (It happens about mid-way through this audio.) The Hollyscoop girls helpfully transcribed the exchange, which we excerpt below:

JC: Lets clear that up real quickly and the thing is, we don't even get to hang out that much. We are friends, absolutely, the guy is a super nice guy and he's a friend of mine but you know the only time people would usually see us together is in some type of photograph so they just assume that it's like that. You know people hang out with their best friends every day...
DJ: Well you've been with some of the hottest chicks in the world so as soon as I heard that story yesterday I was like come on. But then it was like you were in a cabana together... JC: That part is actually completely made up.

DJ: That you weren't in the cabana and he was like on all fours and you were rubbing oil all over his back. A couple of buddies hanging out, putting lotion on each other.
JC: That part of it is completely made up.

DJ: Really?
JC: I mean we weren't even at...from what I hear they say we were at the Roosevelt or something. I haven't been to the Roosevelt since the Grammys when I went and saw Mark Ronson play.

DJ: That's not what I heard, I heard you were at the Roosevelt doing yoga poses and he performed a two-finger mexican oil change on you JC.
JC: Not even close.

As we try, unsuccessfully, to wipe the image of a "two-finger Mexican oil change" from our consciousness (what does that even involve, we wonder, and do they try to upsell you to a new fanbelt and air filter?), we turn back to our high-level informant for a response, who says, "Sorry I cant make this more interesting, but I stand by it with no further comment." Conveniently coinciding with news that Crawford and Carrie Underwood are officially "dunzo," however, the rendezvous still leads us to wonder if this entire romance isn't being staged by The CW's wily marketing department in time for Gossip Girl's premiere next month. It's a theory that will all but be confirmed the first time we hear an announcer say, "This episode of Gossip Girl brought to you by Jiffy Lube: Have you had your oil changed by a two-fingered Mexican today?"