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How awesome is New York? So awesome that it has 98 nicknames. Wow, that's so awesome! I don't know about you, but whenever I leave the city, I'm amazed at how fat and poorly dressed the rest of the country is, and I think to myself, I can't wait to be back in "The Greatest All-Year Round Vacation City." Or "The Modern Gomorrah." Or "The University of Telephony." Full list after the jump via The Big Apple. Add your own!
1. America's Leading Tourist Resort 2. America's Mecca 3. Father Knickerbocker (referring to the type of trousers worn by the early Dutch settlers) 4. Gotham (name given to New York City by Washington Irving in the Salmagundi Papers, 1807) 5. The Bablyonian Bedlam (allusion to the confusion of tongues at Babel, described in Genesis XI) 6. The Bagdad of the Subway 7. The Bagdad on the Hudson 8. The Banking Center of the World 9. The Big Apple 10. The Big Burg 11. The Big City 12. The Big Town 13. The Biggest Gateway to Immigrants 14. The Burg 15. The Business Capital of the Nation 16. The Business Capital of the World 17. The Capital of Finance 18. The Capital of the World 19. The Center of the World (Trygve Lie, first United Nations general secretary, on Sept. 7, 1962) 20. The City 21. The City at the Crossroads of High Diplomacy 22. The City of Cities (book by Hulbert Foother) 23. The City of Friendly People 24. The City of Golden Dreams 25. The City of Islands (the borough of Manhattan and numerous other small islands within the city limits) 26. The City of Light 27. The City of Orchestras (music center and 'Tin Pan Alley") 28. The City of Skyscrapers (the tallest building in the world; the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, 60 Wall Tower, etc.) 29. The City of Superlatives 30. The City of the World 31. The City of Towers 32. The City that Belongs to the World 33. The City that Never Sleeps 34. The City with Everything 35. The Cleanest Big City in the World 36. The Coliseum City 37. The Commercial Capital of America 38. The Commercial Emporium 39. The Corporate Capital of America 40. The Crossroads of the World 41. The Cuisine Capital of the World 42. The Cultural Capital of America 43. The Cultural Center of the Nation 44. The Cultural City 45. The Empire City 46. The Entertainment Capital of the World 47. The Fashion Capital of the World 48. The Fear City 49. The Financial Capital of the World 50. The Financial Hub 51. The First City of the World (the most populated city in the United States, approximately 8 million) 52. The Friendly City 53. The Frog and Toe 54. The Front Office of American Business 55. The Fun City 56. The Fun City on the Hudson 57. The Greatest All-Year Round Vacation City 58. The Greatest Industrial Center in the World 59. The Headquarters of World Banking 60. The Hong Kong of the Hudson 61. The Host of the World 62. The Hub City of the World 63. The Hub of Transport 64. The Information City 65. The Land of Surprising Contrasts 66. The Mecca for Young Adults 67. The Media City 68. The Melting Pot (drama by Israel Zangwill, 1908) 69. The Metropolis 70. The Metropolis of a Continent 71. The Metropolis of America 72. The Metropolitan City 73. The Mighty Manhattan 74. The Modern Gomorrah (one of the cities if the plains destroyed by fire and bromstone because of wickedness, mentioned in the Old Testament) 75. The Money Town 76. The Most Colorful Exciting City in the World 77. The Movie-Making City 78. The Nation's First City 79. The Nation's Greatest City 80. The Nation's Largest Communications Center 81. The Nation's Largest Port 82. The Port of Many Ports 83. The Printing Capital of the World 84. The Restaurant City 85. The Science City 86. The Seat of Empire (named in 1784 by George Washington) 87. The Super City 88. The University of Telephony 89. The Vacation City 90. The Wonder City 91. The Wonder City of the World 92. The Wonderful Town 93. The World Capital of Fashion 94. The World's Capital City 95. The World's Fair City 96. The World's Financial Capital 97. The World's Metropolis 98. The World's Most Exciting All Year Round Vacation Center
Comments
City of Fatties.
City of a 1000 smells.
The World Capital Of Pushing Tourists Down Escalators
The Big Fuckin City Where Fuckin Dreams Live and Die Like So Many Mosquitoes Hovering Above a Puddle On A Day Much Like This One, The Day When A Mock- Spring Is Taken Away and Replaced with a Fourth Round of Winter Sadness Big Apple
Can we decide once and for all if it's okay to punch a tourist if they ask you to show them where The Big Apple is? Or The Times Square?
The Place Where I Go When I Want to Dance on Bear Stearns' Grave
The Me-tropolis.
That place next to Brooklyn
Fucktown, USA
Circuit City?
Just like a Rob Reiner Movie!
"I'm Pretty Sure Kottke Lives Here"
Home of Gawker, Home of Love
The city where Summer smells bad.
Three-Card Monty Capitol of the World
and then there was Boston: 1. Beantown 2. Hockeytown, USA 3. UniverCity 4. Shit-hole.
@CodePink:
City Where Scott Kidder's God-Cock Waits.
AudaCity
Cubicle Central
Target.
I like to think of it as King Kong's Playset.
"Where Jesus Would Have Lived, Given His Druthers"
Trust-Fund-Baby-Magnet?
Everything-But-The-City-Depicted-in-SATC?
@hypocriteoath: Whoa. Detroit is Hockeytown, USA.
Allagash "If You Can Make It Here, Then You Have A Really Good Map" Maine
Cloverfield.
Cocka-roach Alley
Slightly off-subject, but did you catch the description last night on Idol of Kim Locke's restaurant being located "just outside of Manhattan?" It's in effin Crouton Falls. Outside NYC, maybe, but what does just outside Manhattan mean? To me, that connotes it's in on of the outer-boroughs (in which case you'd just say it's in NYC) or it's in NJ (I can see why you wouldn't want to claim that) or it's in the effin water.
Starbucks
Sodom-by-the-Sea
There's Homeless Guy Poop on the Subway Here.
Where even the homeless can't stand the tourists.
The Rental Rape Capital Of The World!
You'll never imrove upon number 24, The City of Golden Dreams.
I wonder what the Native Americans call it?
"The-Land-We-Were-Fucked-Over-For-$24-Of-Beads-And-Trinkets"?
Where is all this animus against the fat and schlubby coming from? It's not like we control the world or steal your dates.
World's Biggest Condo Lobby.
"West-Des Moines"
@BullfightsOnAcid: So THAT'S why they do it!
Flasher's Paradise
Per Jesse Jackson and with which Baramobama's unrejected pastor would surely agree,
Hymietown
@vibe-rater:
Crouton Falls? They must make an awesome Caesar salad.
Jesse Jackson had a good one: Hymietown.
Chase Manhattan Bank
Where your dreams change as quickly as the lights on Broadway!
@Mike_Jahn: Jinx. Buy me a bagel.
Land of $1,000-an-Hour Hookers
Land of 1000 Urine-y Smells
Land of Helpful Window Washers
@Sarcastro: That's right - he was his own Rev. Wright.
"The Pearl of the Hudson"
Jewtopia
@Bell County: That's not what the sitcoms would have us believe.
The City Where The Answer Is Always "Go Fuck Yourself"
Gothamburg.
77. The Movie-Making City? Really? I think summertime touristy clusterfuck is more like it. That due, in large part, to the fact that the flyover-state-dwellers flock to the city in hopes of a)seeing Carrie Bradshaw, b) marrying Anderson Cooper, or c) being discovered while taking pictures in Times Square.
@Cookie Guggleman: Who the fuck knows how to spell the names of places outside of Manhattan anyway?
@BadUncle: NICE!
Sunnyvale Acres For Hobos
@Unfun: Land of 1,000 Unemployed Investment Bankers
Where nobody knows your name, and nobody cares what your name is, and where they want to kill you... watch out he's got a knife!
New Fuckin Yawk Fuckface
Someone should check on In Other News... - this post is totally up his alley. I hope he's OK.
Mall of America.
More Fun When The Whores And Dealers Ruled Before All You Dull Goo Queen Pillow Fighters Moved Here City.
Where Nothing's Free, Even a Book of Matches, Are You Serious? I Buy Cigarettes Here All the Time? Ahh, Fuck You!
"America's Fairyland"