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Moby Is Annoying Friend To Gay Community

Moby, the bald purveyor of computer music who is Amy Winehouse's anti-drug, will not stop speaking out on or against any and all things. Now, he is reassuring the gay community that, although he didn't have the luck to be born gay, he does hope that his kids will be [Advocate]. What does the hairless downtown master of background tunes like so much about the gays? "They have nice homes, bars, and restaurants." Ok then!

You've been such an ally to the gay community that you've taken some heat for it — like when you stated in an interview that gays were "superior to straight people." Do you stand by that?

Yeah, and I also said that if and when I ever have children, I want gay children, which didn't really endear me to the Christian right wing of America. There are a lot of people in the world who are virulently homophobic or misogynistic or anti-Semitic, and what baffles me is that if you just look at it empirically, gays, women, and Jews are certainly responsible for far fewer violent crimes than straight white guys. They've started fewer wars, and they tend to be well educated, fun to hang out with, and they have nice homes, bars, and restaurants.

....

You've described yourself as "neither straight nor gay." Do you consider yourself bisexual?

I just like to think of myself as being pretty open-minded. Also, you never know what the future might bring, so I have no idea. It's a cliché to say this, but in a perfect world, the dichotomous definition of straight and gay would probably carry less weight.

Fine, hush now!

12:06 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
3,206 views
58 comments

Comments

kokotaylor at 12:09 PM on 03/27/08
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Gay.
Cheap Shot at 12:12 PM on 03/27/08
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He hasn't heard of the Great Gay War of 1907?
La Cieca at 12:13 PM on 03/27/08
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How much would Neal Boulton charge to beat up Moby? I'm willing to chip in 50 bucks.
Shanghaibaby at 12:13 PM on 03/27/08
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hmm, "dichotomous"? No straight knows that word.
BettyCrocker at 12:14 PM on 03/27/08
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@Cheap Shot: And Stonewall! My gay uncle threw a bottle like a girl.
collegecallgirl at 12:15 PM on 03/27/08
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I also hope my children grow up to be a stereotype.
SneakingThroughTheAlle... at 12:15 PM on 03/27/08
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I don't like when aging hipsters make dichotomy an adjective...
ambitious at 12:16 PM on 03/27/08
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I hope my children are black so they can dance good. But I hope they aren't Asian ladies. cause they don't know how to drive!!! Hi-five! Hi-five?

STFU, Moby.
drunkexpatwriter at 12:16 PM on 03/27/08
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Man, if I was a sloppy, boring warmongering gay who likes White Castle I'd be pretty pissed at Moby right now.
Steverino at 12:18 PM on 03/27/08
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"Sorry, Timmy, the store was out of baseball gloves...but I have something even better: dolls and magazines! You open up the Rainbow Bright gear and I'll turn on some Judy..."
Richard at 12:20 PM on 03/27/08
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I love children with nice bars.
winniemc at 12:20 PM on 03/27/08
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All your gays are belong to us!
mitchel_stevens at 12:21 PM on 03/27/08
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wait, so if i hate on moby--is that gay-bashing or not?
i'm really confused here.
MattGaymon at 12:23 PM on 03/27/08
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@mitchel_stevens: At least you're not confused about being straight.
City_Dater at 12:23 PM on 03/27/08
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Oddly, neither the gays nor the straights wish to claim Moby.
Toomanytomatoes at 12:24 PM on 03/27/08
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I think he may not be the smartest or most articulate person around. Maybe celebrities should stick to the thing that made them famous.
Toomanytomatoes at 12:25 PM on 03/27/08
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Why is it assumed that in order to be straight one has to be igorant, uncultured, have poor taste in fashion and drink in foul smelling Irish pubs? I like pino noir but also like girls.
zivah at 12:27 PM on 03/27/08
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"They have nice homes, bars, and restaurants." And penises.

Alternatively, "They have nice homes, bars, and restaurants." And they love Barbara Streisand and musicals and they talk with a lisp and flap their wrists and swish when they walk.
Cheap Shot at 12:29 PM on 03/27/08
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I don't think he has to worry about having gay children. His Vegan Jesus loving genes are all you need to creat the gay chromosome. I am kidding of course!
kathotdog at 12:31 PM on 03/27/08
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Poverty doesn't strike the gays?
BadUncle at 12:31 PM on 03/27/08
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Yet one more reason why Moby would be a very creepy parent: he's concerned about how his children would use their genitals.
beefer at 12:32 PM on 03/27/08
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Like I said when my mother was bitching out airport security:
Stop. Helping.

Apparently the Culture Wars need a soundtrack, and that soundtrack will be shitty 90s electronica.
MKonbanwa at 12:35 PM on 03/27/08
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We can only hope that the ever-boring, ever-whining, ever-selling out Moby gets beat up again outside one of his own concerts. Just like in Boston a coupla years back. For reals: [www.pitchforkmedia.com]
drunkexpatwriter at 12:37 PM on 03/27/08
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@Toomanytomatoes: Because if women didn't accept straight guys as boring, uncultured dirty drunks I'd never get laid.
La Cieca at 12:42 PM on 03/27/08
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Moby: "Be Mo!"
moff at 12:43 PM on 03/27/08
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@drunkexpatwriter: Oh, I am. I am.
Toomanytomatoes at 12:44 PM on 03/27/08
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@drunkexpatwriter: shh...that will be our little secret...
Itsjustcatnip at 12:44 PM on 03/27/08
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He wants to stereotype his children?

He was better when he just played the music.
Hipp at 12:44 PM on 03/27/08
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Does anyone remember when his sweet-natured do-gooder attitude earned him a trip to the emergency room for petting a fucking alley cat?

"i stopped to pet a street cat (as i'm wont to do) and the street cat attacked me (as they're wont to do) and it bit my hand very deeply (as they're wont to do. ok, i'll stop now). and throughout the day my hand got more and more infected and swollen and sore. but i, being relatively stoic, just went about my business, assuming that my relative youth and relative health would prevent me from getting rabies or whatever diseases were floating around in this cats mouth. but no. last night i went to sleep with a sore hand, only to be awoken at some ungodly hour (9 a.m) with tons of pain and the inability to move my fingers (so why am i typing now? my devotion to my updates. sniff.)."

And no, before you ask, he doesn't use proper caps or punctuation when his hand isn't filled with alley cat mouth-spores. Alas, that cat almost saved the world from the ensuing 512 pages of moblog and god knows how many commercial soundtracks.
SneakingThroughTheAlle... at 12:45 PM on 03/27/08
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@Hipp: So, I take it you're a fan then.
MartyPants at 12:50 PM on 03/27/08
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He should have been photographed with his mouth open.

This is how gay people smile.
tribalpottery at 12:52 PM on 03/27/08
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I believe it was Gore Vidal who once said gay and straight should be adjectives and not nouns.
creamsissle at 12:55 PM on 03/27/08
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Something tells me that Huckabee will be canceling his Amazon.com preorder of Moby's next album right...about...now.
vibe-rater at 12:55 PM on 03/27/08
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assuming that my relative youth and relative health would prevent me from getting rabies or whatever diseases were floating around...
The same ass-wipe thinking that spreads, I don't know, things like HIV? Young, dumb and fulla cum.
dagblad at 12:57 PM on 03/27/08
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He keeps giving me more reasons to respect him even less than I already do.

Did he really just try to attach some kind of statistical correlation to violent crimes and sexual orientation and race, and gender, all at once?

I want to push him down in the mud and walk off with his girlfriend.
mitchel_stevens at 01:00 PM on 03/27/08
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@MattGaymon:
too true. that's how i'll strike at Moby--by fucking "mad bitches" while saying, "hey moby, i'm fucking mad bitches."

that'll get him.
PickleTitsTurner at 01:01 PM on 03/27/08
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I think it's time for this guy to leave old Manhattoe and set out for the watery parts of the world.
che_leo at 01:02 PM on 03/27/08
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well, at least he's still churning out great music. oh... wait.
Botswana Meat... at 01:04 PM on 03/27/08
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Now the gays know how every mid-to-late 90s ravers felt.

No really, you can have him!
BK_KT at 01:11 PM on 03/27/08
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Fuck the binary! Dichotomous! It's like I'm back at Wesleyan all over again!
MattGaymon at 01:14 PM on 03/27/08
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@mitchel_stevens: He's probably fucking Matt Damon.
drunkexpatwriter at 01:21 PM on 03/27/08
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I'd be gay but I can't afford the nice cocktails, the rent or the shoes.
mitchel_stevens at 01:27 PM on 03/27/08
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@MattGaymon:
fuck. i'm giving up this round.
the-cubicle-dweller at 01:29 PM on 03/27/08
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@dagblad: Remember, people were angry when he allegedly had a date with Natalie Portman.

Someone needs to shoot him with a vegan gun. One made with tree bark that shoots bullets of hardened green tea leaves.
FitnessMadeSimple at 01:44 PM on 03/27/08
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Really? The gays have started less wars than the straights? That's like saying that Samoans have started less wars than Europeans.
dogisdead at 01:47 PM on 03/27/08
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My eyes just rolled so far back that my retina snapped and now I have eye-goo all over Moby's picture. Which, suffice to say, is actually LESS offensive than Moby wishing his un-born children to be gay.
Moby 0; Eminem 1
NYM at 01:50 PM on 03/27/08
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doucheby
NinaHagen at 02:03 PM on 03/27/08
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Bald vegans are hot.
flossy at 02:31 PM on 03/27/08
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I hope he does have horribly stereotypical gay children, and they end up leather-festishists.
famousauthor at 02:32 PM on 03/27/08
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He really needs a haircut!
sharpeiboy at 03:11 PM on 03/27/08
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"...I want gay children, which didn't really endear me to the Christian right wing of America."

Do die hard Christians buy his albums anyway? Well, maybe Nancy Reagan.
Hipp at 03:30 PM on 03/27/08
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@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: Of alley cats, yes.
Un Chien Andalou at 03:41 PM on 03/27/08
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This is like when I found out Beck is a scientologist.
Dumb comparison, Beck makes music.
Anyone have tickets to Michael Jackson's Dubai concert?
Waiting word from Geraldine Ferraro on this one.
KiKiRiKi at 04:01 PM on 03/27/08
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I'm willing to bet that if you 'looked empirically,' gay people would have a higher crime rate based on income/drug use.
Hamud Ibn Hamud at 06:59 PM on 03/27/08
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As a practicing member of at least two of the minorities whom Moby favors with his concern, I'm not 100% certain that I'd want him on my side in any serious fight.

I'm afraid he might just stand there and whimper about how much he hates violence.
famousauthor at 07:20 PM on 03/27/08
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Will genetic engineering be able to ensure him gay children?
UpstateAudacity at 08:27 PM on 03/27/08
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Hello, sister!
fishwife at 07:19 AM on 04/03/08
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I want gay children to decorate my house.