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Liz Smith Has Boob Opinions

Semi-sane octogenarian gossip Liz Smith is really feeling her oat bran now that she's cranking out columns for the aged women's site WowOWow.com. In her latest effort, she tackles the issue of our time: the rumors of Nicole Kidman's breast augmentation. And she speaks without fear or favor:

Well, I do recall Nicole saying to me in the distant past that she always felt she wasn't well endowed and she wished she were. But seeing is believing, and here is a photograph taken back in 2006 where I seem about to lift and toss this beautiful star into the air. No, seriously, take a glance at it. Does this look like a girl who needed breast surgery? No, this is Nicole all natural as the good Lord made her at the Vanity Fair party Oscar night.
I admire a fine belle poitrine as much as anyone, but I can't stand these added-on half grapefruits that look as unnatural as can be. I have known Nicole for a long time now and her natural assets were quite good enough to start with.

She then goes on to congratulate her good friend Nicole on her charity work. Befriending old gossip columnists is hazardous for celebrities, obviously.

Added bonus: Liz Smith's description of Mediabistro:

My friend Dominick Dunne has given an interview to the website mediabistro.com which usually covers who's who and who's eating at the popular Manhattan restaurant, Michael's.

[pic via Liz Smith herself!]

12:42 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
3,411 views
12 comments

Comments

BadUncle at 12:48 PM on 03/27/08
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Another fantasy-turned-horrorshow, thanks to Gawker: the tickle party.
Lonesome_George at 12:49 PM on 03/27/08
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Oh! I'm sorry, I fell asleep for a minute. Did somebody say boobs?
winniemc at 12:49 PM on 03/27/08
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I knew it the whole time! Liz Smith was the secret cougar stealing McNeverFrown away from the straights in last week's blind item!
TheHonJudgeSmails at 12:49 PM on 03/27/08
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Connectedness Index: 935

People say Liz Smith is out of touch, technologically challenged. To those people, I say: she has learned how to take pictures of herself with other people without appearing to look at, much less touch, the camera.
flipper baby at 12:52 PM on 03/27/08
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Connectedness Index: 81

That does sound a lot more useful than what mediabistro ctually does.
donmiguel at 12:52 PM on 03/27/08
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This is all about Liz getting to put her hands on the luscious lady flesh that is Nicole. That is all.
Disgruntled_Platonist at 12:59 PM on 03/27/08
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I feel like it should be "WowOwoW" not "WowOWow." Symmetry rocks...
shehatesme at 01:12 PM on 03/27/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails: It's called the emo technique. That way she can post them on her MySpace page while drawing tiny hearts on her wrists and listening to Dashboard.
TheHonJudgeSmails at 01:16 PM on 03/27/08
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Connectedness Index: 935

@shehatesme: Be still my heart; she is back!
shehatesme at 01:25 PM on 03/27/08
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I know you missed me, but that does not excuse the comment about Heidi Montag. Please say it was all a joke and you don't really think aliens are hot. Because that would crush my soul a little.
heartbreakturnip at 01:41 PM on 03/27/08
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"I admire a fine belle poitrine as much as anyone, but I can't stand these added-on half grapefruits that look as unnatural as can be." -- Liz Smith, 2008

I love that, I can't quit saying it now, I am having it tattooed on my ass.
famousauthor at 07:18 PM on 03/27/08
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I let Liz Smith do my feeling for me. She's so much more expert that I am.