In the UK, entertainment reporters have a reputation for being tough and heartless when it comes to reporting on celebrities. But you have to give them this: They're also horny sleazebags. At least one is. His name is Rob Grainge, and he works for the London Paper. Now that French first lady Carla Bruni is getting so much press for her tour of England and other endeavors, the London Paper is trying to get some renewed interest in Grainge's interview with Bruni last year, when she was still a simple model and celebrity. And it is interesting, as a case study in a reporter being unable to control his metaphorical boner while interviewing a pretty woman.

First, Grainge Googles Bruni and is blown away by her photos. He offers to walk her around his neighborhood! For journalistic purposes.

"Modelling is using the body and only the body."

Which is my opportunity to say: "And you have a beautiful one, I might add."

"Thank you," she stutters, laughing. I'm clearly a sleazebag. Professionalism is dwindling. She then compares making music to the process of attraction.

"When you're attracted to someone, it's hard to explain, you can say you're attracted to this girl 'cause she is pretty, intelligent and charming..."

"You have all those qualities, Carla," I interrupt to gush. "Thank you, I'm liking this interview very much," she says. "You're almost like an Italian man."

Yes, a sleazy Italian man. The interview is cut short, and Bruni calls back 15 minutes later.

I dive straight in. "Your album cover is you sitting on a cushion reading a book in a frock. Were you wearing any knickers at the time?"

Way to get to the bottom of the situation, haha! Or should I say, way to get to the vagina of the situation, haha. Grainge's entire story reads like a buddy telling you how much that stripper really liked him at the strip club last night. At the end, Bruni gives him her number, but somehow, a romance never flourishes:

Unfortunately, Carla never did call. And when I texted her she didn't reply. The next thing I heard she was going out with the President of France.