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After the torrent of skepticism that threatened to douse the near-instant mythology of country-fu trailblazer (and bar-brawlin' Daughter of Willie) Paula Nelson, a shocking dispatch from Austin today indeed reveals a true hoax for the ages, one that Ashton Kutcher's "Pop Fiction" posse could only dream of replicating:

Apparently, the drunkard in the clip is Paula's boyfriend Jeff Schwan, the stunt coordinator for Friday Night Lights. Schwan told COED that Paula and him wanted to pull a prank on their friends at the bar, so they set up a quick fracas to startle them. No foul play here.

The kick, that has been promoted as some sort of kick-ass grrl rawk moment, is nothing more than a gag. Well, that's about as grrl rawk as...wait, she really is a black belt? Forget it, she's validated — and she's still Willie's daughter, which gives her eternal badass-ness.

We mostly agree, though we must acknowledge that "eternal badass-ness" doesn't exactly equate to "eternally being asked by drunk assholes to kick them between songs." That's a minor quibble, however, considering how Willie's legacy does confer a certain gravitas to even the most garish of publicity stunts. Still, it's gonna take more than a black belt and a stuntman husband to catch up with Dad's infamous "$16 Million Tax-Evasion Shuffle" that went viral back in 1990. They really don't make 'em like that anymore.