Second guess your Monday morning instinct to feed that neckware noose into the office paper shredder with the knowledge that there really is something to live for: the box office numbers:
1. 21 - $23.7 million
Tempting the odds by releasing their M.I.T.-geniuses-grift-Vegas movie on thousands of screens across the country paid off handsomely for Sony, though weak reviews and poor word-of-mouth (there was much grumbling about the plausibility of one sequence in which—spoiler alert!—Kate Bosworth detonates a suspicious dealer's skull with her high-frequency brain waves) could mean a steep drop-off in the coming weeks.
2. Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who! - $17.425 million
2008's first bona fide hit held strong in the second position, buoyed by repeat business from families who loved its sophisticated take on the child-friendly material, and balls-tripping Salvia addicts, for whom the title character of this deeply religious experience was the re-embodiment of Ganesh.
3. Superhero Movie - $9.51 million
Despite the best efforts of World's Greatest Tom Cruise Impressionist Miles Fisher, the universally panned superhero parody movie was largely ignored by the moviegoing public, who realized they could probably get more consistent belly-laughs in the genre by Netflixing Billy Zane's turn as The Phantom.
4. Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns - $7.76 million
Continuing to grow his signature drag character in challenging ways keeps paying off for Tyler Perry, as fans who show up to Browns expecting some of that sweet n' salty Madea wisdom wind up surprisingly moved by her hysterectomy.
5. Drillbit Taylor - $5.8 million
8. Stop-Loss - $4.525 million
We think we have a definitive answer to our question about the ability of a shirtless Ryan Phillippe and Channing Tatum to lure audiences into an Iraq War movie: The film's paltry gross suggests that not even their sun-speckled abs could render the depressing material any easier to take. Drillbit Taylor's bodyguard-with-the-sad-behind-his-eyes seemed positively sunny by comparison.