Mommy-to-be Has Plastic Bag At The Ready

Teen's Car A Vehicle For Showing Off Successful CD-unwrapping

Airbag Deployed

Teen virgin loses wrapper, returned as defective

Dakota Fanning, Lost in Thought, Farts.

Former child actress stares at life choices receding in rear-view mirror.

Seven More Years' Bad Luck

Oh Wait, That's Mirrors

"What am I going to tell everyone when the baby comes out a nice light cocoa color?"

Teen Finally Gets Vanilla Sky

Rushed Afulthood in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Just As Fucking Tragic As You Thought It Would Be

Teen Mother still visibly confused by Jezebel prank.

"Hey y'all! Whater y'all doin' here? Me? Yah, I gotta pig in my blanket, but, like, I am the oldest of my girlfriends to get in the family way! Also, I am able to be here for my baby's daddy's high school graduation! We are gonna be the hottest parents on the Senior Cruise, y'all!"

Fuzzy Dice Out, Broken Condoms In

@CodePink: ADULTHOOD. ugh.

Flatulent Firestarter Self-Destructs

Icon's thought balloon tragically pops on way to Doonesbury tryouts.

I wonder if I can also use packing tape to fix my broken soul?

Jamie Lynn Spears - Already Forgetting Where She Left The Baby

Visions of Motherhood Through A Glass, Darkly, Dimly, Depressingly

Teen Reflects on Irony That She Can't Drive Without a Learner's Permit

You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licenses?

Broken Picasso painting. HA!

"I could've used that plastic a few months ago..."

Hungover Pregnant Teen Discovers They Stopped Serving Breakfast at 10:30.

Zoey One Oh, Crap

Chick looks like Guernica.

"I swear I am sittin' here for another ten minutes. If Scooter don't come out of that gas station by the time I count to twenty, I am getting into the driver's seat and I am going all the way home to Bell Holler, and damn the traffic laws 'bout driving with no shoes on, neither! Scooter is just no darn good, and I'm sick of workin' at the A&P to pay for his busted-up truck while all my friends are gettin' ready for junior college and the Sadie Hawkins dance. I guess if I had it to do over I'd still end up with Scooter -- hell, can't change fate, right? But maybe I'd-a done it smarter. I wouldn't be havin' no baby at sixteen, that's for damn sure. Maybe someday I'll get my chance. When the baby's older and Scooter has a real job, I can go back to school at get a certificate or something and be a dental hygienist. That would a be a real respectable-like career, and then mama would have to admit I hadn't totally screwed up by gettin' married to that g.d. low-life. Aw, hell, he's comin' back and he obviously forget my Red Vines! Son of a bitch."

Dude...Wait, what?

JLS looks like her diet is lacking enough fiber. Or she is deep in thought. You decide.

I'm torn.

1) Please show this picture to girls who feel ugly because they don't have personal stylists.

2) Please show this picture to girls who think having sex is hot and pregnancy probably wouldn't suck that bad.

Britney Sis Contemplates Writing 'Wash Me!' With Fingers On Windshield

"Hmmm... That Road, or the One Less Traveled By?"

Girl, at Fork In Road, Remembers Spooning Got Her In Trouble

Warning to teen girls: pregnancy make cause loss of short- term memory, Drew Carey-face.

Parallel parking fills me with a disabling fear of The Void, too.

@RGISMYFAVORITECANADIANMORMON: Sex is hot.

how did my mouth get pregnant?

"Dear Kate Walsh: My Cadillac Didn't Return the Favor."

"And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile...
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?"

"Oh God, Did I Put Diesel In the Tank?"

@PimpMyCouch: Hee!

@Colonel Mustard: Yes, yes, yes.

@PimpMyCouch: And also yes.

the dream life of crash-test dummies.

It's a Mini-Cooper, and she still looks small.

I was looking for some love and then I found an infant and heaven knows I'm miserable now ...

Car'd Star Broods Afar, Ponders Caesarian Scar, Jarred by Possible Epidural in Lumbar

"KITT, For the Last Time, Take Me to the Bodega!"

"But Juno made it look easy!"

@moff: @In Other News...: *blush*

Junot

A windshield clears
and inside a Spears
contemplates tears
of parental fears.
Her mind's fog disappears
a paparrazzi appears
towards him she steers
screaming tires he hears
a crowd frowns and leers
it's all over he fears
except at the last minute she veers
and the collective world cheers.

jamie lynn stares at 18-wheeler, called reality, heading right for her.

@PimpMyCouch:
Damn near perfect.

@TotalEclipseOfTheSartre: Ha ha ha!!
@PimpMyCouch: Truth, word, winner.

Zoey One Plus One
(with apologies to the moff!)

'I'm country, y'all'

@PimpMyCouch: ha!

And in that moment she realized that Britney was right. Orange soda is pretty awesome.

Preggo Starlet Practices "Don't Make Me Come Back There" Stare

@PimpMyCouch: Ha! "My God, what have I done?"

I was considering all kinds of clever crap, but "duuhhhhhhhh..." pretty much covers it.

hello onstar? i think mah water thingy just broke.

First Images from Larry Clark's "Jamie-Lynn" Pop Up Online