Tom Hanks. He's just good old fashioned awesome.

Or, Paris Hilton, oh wait thats meant to be for the post "who's the most assassinatable modern celebrity"

I love to topple sacred old cows... Especially baby boomer icons like Bob Dylan.

Denton.

@SeaBassTian: Whatevs, it's always been appropriate to rag on Bob Dylan.

Radiohead.

Hmm. Good question. George Clooney seems to be universally beloved. And for some reason beyond my comprehension, Natalie Portman often seems to be beyond reproach. If you can get a free pass for "Kiss me like you did on Naboo," you can pretty much do anything...

Elliot Yamin and his mom.

HEIDI MONTAG! Team Heidi! Yay!

Come on, you lot can do better. Maybe Tom Hanks, but Dylan is too easy to parody, Radiohead way way way too attached to hipsters.

The Dalai Lama and Denzel Washington.

Mary Lou Retton, the Dalai Lama, and that kid from Life Goes On.

Uh, cherubic friends of The Hills cast?

PS, Douglas: I love the Stephen Hawking picture. That's so the first place I would go.

Since you can't bother to explain why you "just don't like" Johnny Cash, it's impossible to identify the particular gauntlet you're throwing down.

"You can't criticize the man in public."

I don't understand what this sentence could possibly mean.

Cash died in 2003.

Are you trying to say that Rosanne or another surviving member of the family would somehow try to physically restrain you from "criticizing" Johnny Cash?

Why would they do this? How would they do this?

There's also another issue, one you don't quite address.

Why would any criticism you might make of Johnny Cash necessarily rise to the level of public concern?

@guitarsnob: ditto on the Dalai Lama. Also, fuck Jon Stweart with the h his name is missing. Morgan Freeman, you can go to hell, and take Tim Gunn with you.

@Hamud: whoa. Someone's still pissed about all that dog video nonsense.

Clooney? Justin Timberlake? Bill Murray? I give up.

Muhammad Ali

@guitarsnob: Such a shame Stephen's second wife, Elaine the basher, did not share the sentiment.

Mick Jagger?
'Dear Leader' Kim Jong-il?
Robert Mugabe?

(I know...not very funny...it's been a long day in Mabelland)

St. Oprah.

My top ten are:
10. Morgan Freeman
9. Princess Diana
8. Walter Payton
7. Johnny Carson
6. Richard Pryor
5. Deniro
4. Caroline Kennedy
3. Billy Graham
2. Bill Murray
1. Chris Farley

sean young?

oh wait ...

Mr. Rogers is a good guess, except, of course, for his unfortunate past associations with JA and, especially, those who spawned her.

@SnarkTwain: Jon with no "h" is short for Jonathan ("gift of god"), which isn't a variation of John, but rather a longer version of Nathan ("gift").

Bert and/or Ernie.

@guitarsnob: I don't know about that...my younger brother refers to mentally-disabled people as "Corks," as in Corky from Life Goes On. Lovely.

Meryl Streep is a good one. Paul Newman is up there, too.

Jimmy Webb. Everyone likes at least one of his songs, and if you don't- then it wasn't even him that sung it, so whatevs.

Balk

Stevie Wonder can see that someone needs an ass kicking. Next you'll be writing an essay titled, "Billy Graham is a douchebag. I Don't Care What You Say."

I call shenanigans!

But, there's two for you.

LolCait

Johnny Depp, in a really inoffensive way.

Tilda Swinton. Has an artist husband and a boy candy and she uses the word 'torpid' when yelling at the paparazzi for asking about it.

Anthony Hopkins

David Attenborough
(I love him, anyway)

Richard Branson. No matter what you say, it doesn't stick.

@raincoaster: Teflon Mobile

Julia Allison...
no..
Mason, Mary's dog

Tom Waits. Everyone effing loves Tom Waits and while I like a song or two of his, I just don't "get" him.

old people charlie rose interviews for the entire hour, generally.

@Hamud: wow! way to overthink this! kind of impressive!

jack nicholson.

@Hamud: oh. That made me laugh so hard. Tears! I have nothing to add. Just...um...hee heee. The last line was a killer!

@Hamud: Yawn! I can't believe I read the whole thing.

Hamud is unassailable.

Brad Pitt, too.

I realize this celebrity is dead, too, but you just can't hate on Christopher Reeves.

@Theda_Bara: Except maybe for his acting ability. And there was that weird business with him funding monkey head transplants which made me think of the Watermelon Man and Supreme Court Justices living for 200 years on a steady supply of healthy bodies.

Millard Fillmore
Minnie Pearl
Captain Kangaroo
St. Ignatius
Peter, Paul and Mary
Swoosie Kurtz
Lamb Chop
Fats Domino
Sid and Marty Krofft
Mary Hart
John Dillenger
Fatty Arbuckle
Mason Reese
Lassie

@scroll_lock:
Sally Starr
Trigger
Pocahontas
Benji
Henrietta Pussycat
Rainbow Brite
Kermit
Jerry Lee Lewis
Jerry Lewis
Larry, Moe, Curly, Shemp
Manny, Moe, Jack
The King
Hamburglar
Tinky Winky
Fonzie
Fozzie

Martin Luther King. What do I win?

@scroll_lock: Fatty Arbuckle

When you don't count that whole career-ruining pedophelia prosecution thing...yeah, totally.

@valarmorghulis: He's the new spokesman for Coca-Cola.

@BalknChain: I respectfully disagree on one: It is officially open season on Shemp.

Also:

Melissa Rivers
Flip Wilson
Kukla, Fran and Ollie
Willie Aames
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Kevin Federline
Nipsey Russell
Joe Namath
Crystal Gayle
The Von Trapp Family Singers
Squeaky Fromme
The entire cast of The Wonder Years
Edie McClurg

Robert Downey Jr.

Jimmy Webb. Everyone has a song they like written by him, and if they hate all his other songs they hell! it's not him singing anyway.

@UnstableMabel: Yes. David Attenborough was everyone's environmental hero from back in the day when it was still cutting edge to not want to skin giant pandas.

Barack Obama

The Prophet Muhammad.

Bea Arthur.

Fred Norris
Rick Astley
Jack McBrayer
Mark Ronson
David McCullough
Pharrell Williams
Grover From Sesame Street
George Clooney
Huey Lewis
Matt Damon
Lily Allen
Kate Beckinsdale
Zoey Deschanel
Paul Giamatti
Charles M. Schulz
Daniel Craig
Albert Einstein

Robert DeNiro's mole. However, Sara Jessica Parker's chin wart is fair game.

@scroll_lock: I'll give you Shemp, but I get The Mormon Tabernacle Choir hunting license.

The Romneys
Rerun
OJ Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Haley Joel Osmant (sp?)
Right Said Fred
Slinky
Tony the Tiger
Norman Fell
Rip Taylor
Larry the Cable Guy
Jonathon Fitzgerald Page

@SuperBien: impressive listicle

Mary Magdalene
The original Maytag repairman
Gavin McLeod
Darrin McGavin
Gavin Rossdale
Gavin DeGraw
Hank Kissinger
Piglet
Margaret Trudeau
Isabel Sanford
Moms Mabley
Charles Lindbergh
Dick and Perry

Wesley Willis
Mojo Nixon
Jello Biafra

US Weekly says "Jennifer Aniston."

I say Tina Fey. You'd have to have a heart as black as pitch to dislike that lady.

Taylor Dayne
Peter Sellers
Don Knotts
Angela Lansbury
Yanni
Tom Arnold
Meat Loaf
Gallagher
Jim Perdue
Bob Costas
Dead or Alive
Oscar Mayer

Jennifer Aniston and Tom Hanks

@BalknChain: Please let me help you load that bazooka.

Stephen Colbert is God and I distrust anyone who disagrees.

Bruce Springsteen and 2001-present Al Gore