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As far as celebrity memoirs go, Bobby Brown's upcoming The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But seems atypically packed with good, sound advice. From teaching readers that girls nicknamed Superhead are probably only good for one thing to lessons on how to take advantage of a major star's bad press in order to marry them, Brown is a regular Velvet Jones when it comes to dispensing words of wisdom. Even when it comes to his well-documented problems with cocaine, Brown is able to find a simple solution to dodging responsibility — just blame Whitney Houston!

"I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice...At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine."

What fun! But what other sorts of joy-filled activities filled the Browns' 15-year marriage?

Well, Whitney may have (allegedly) seduced the helpless Bobby into a lifetime of nose candy and mood stabilizing clouds of laughy time, but she also let him cheat! As Bobby puts it, "women are always throwing themselves at you. I'm only human, so I would make the mistake and bite the hook sometimes." Note yet another great little nugget. "Bite the hook" is the new, way cooler "bite the bullet." And though Brown says their union was "doomed" from the get-go, we have a feeling those fifteen years of marital bliss spent on drugs and in other girls' beds were pretty much the best years of his life. Now all he's got is a lousy book, and we all know no one reads those things anymore.

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