Just Because You're a Philosopher It Doesn't Mean You Didn't Make Out With Perez Hilton

John Mayer thinks that Perez Hilton is just a sad man who wants to be a celebrity himself. Um. Yes. The singer/songwriter/lovemaker was on XM radio yesterday discussing fame and fortune, but did not mention the alleged Perez and John makeout session. He had a lot of other stuff to say about the rotund blogger, however. Of Perez's VH1 show he said, wisely: "I have never seen it, but that was the moment that the wall broke, and we realized that these people don't really hate celebrities, they just want to be actually in there." Fourth wall? Who the fuck is he, a Brecht scholar? This man is a genius! What else, what else!

Well, most people who gab about him

...are people who ... couldn't name me three songs off one record, but get onto a blog site and go to the comments and say, 'Well, he was with that dog so-and-so. He probably smells like butt.' You know, people try to like do the Perez Hilton syntax, and it's terrible.
Oh it's so true. It is terrible. Though, I can name three. OK. 1) "Your Body is a Wonderland" 2) "High School... Let's Go... Back" and 3) "Fathers... Daughters... Being Good" See? I've earned the right. John: You smell like butt. And you made out with Perez Hilton. But you were drunk! Just come back to me and I promise I won't be mad anymore. [Us ]