Hoes Before Bros: The Make Me a Supermodel Finale

Last night's finale of Make Me a Supermodel brought tears, joy, sadness, and an odd sense of... justice? Yes indeedy. For the duration of the Bravo competition series, the boys have dominated, not because they were better models per se, but because the show's viewer and voting base is (I'm assuming) largely made up of women and gays. It seemed like a foregone conclusion that a dude would win, most likely spunky gay Chicagoan Ronnie. Sexy but bratty prison guard Ben was also a possibility, but it definitely would not be that thing with a bagina, Holly. But! Before we get to the ending, let's go to the middle.

After a rough day of go-sees, the four remaining contestants, on their final night in their New York mansion, lounged around and reminisced. And then suddenly, surprise visitors! Ronnie's cute little mom! Holly's strangely-chiseled fiancé Ray! Even Perry's Adnan Ghalib-dating lady friend Amanda showed up (for some super staged emotional wreckage). Oh, and Ben's wife April. To whom he said, after being apart for three months, "What's uppp?" There was a haunted, ponderous, Raymond Carver-y look in his eyes as he hugged his young wife. He also couldn't stop saying how "awkward" it was to see her. Later on April said she'd like to move to New York and be part of the whole adventure, which seemed to pain Ben even more. It was like when you go to summer camp and come back and all of your old friends seem kind of blah and dumpy. Sad.

So, onto the end. There was, of course a final catwalk. The boys wore sparkly Dolce & Gabbana suits, while Holly was saddled with a huge dress and crazy frizzy hair extensions. Perry was first to go (good riddance, teeny-tiny head), then stoic Ben. With only Ronnie and Holly left, we were again faced with the inevitability of Ronnie's win. But what was that that host Niki Taylor just bellowed? Our dear hillbilly lady friend has somehow clinched it? Yay! Though she probably needed the win the least! That'll teach those smug, entitled boys. I guess I totally underestimated her fan base. Though, the person with the most votes probably got, what, like twelve? In the long run, I think all four of them will be just fine. They've had great model exposure, with none of the attendant Tyra-stink that comes with being on Top Model. They're going to have great, successful careers. Until, you know, they age and their looks fade and they realize that they have very few life skills. Good luck!