If you have "responsibilities" and "a life," you may not know that Paris Hilton is searching for a best friend on her new MTV reality show. So how does one get in on that sweet action and earn the right to hang with Hilton (for as long as the cameras are rolling)? MTV suggests you start by heading over to http://parisbff.com and creating a profile. Then, if you get enough votes, you could be picked for the show. You'll be in good company because two of the most celebrated members of Howard Stern's Wack Pack have already done so.
Of course, we're talking about Benjy Bronk (his submission video is highly recommended) and Eric the Midget. It's worth voting for them just to see the look on Paris's face were she contractually obligated to be in their proximity.
Or, you could take the road less traveled and vote for Defamer's own Molly McAleer. We forced her at gunpoint to participate in this social experiment, so the least you could do is send her directly into Paris's welcoming embrace.