Nude Photos of Heather Mills Are Unappealing (And Not Just Because of Her Missing Leg)

Maybe she was a porn star. Maybe she was a prostitute. Maybe she was even a good homemaker (though not likely). Yet the one occupation Heather Mills is known for that continues to confound us is modeling. In 1986, after failing at a number of jobs (and being arrested for stealing from one), Mills started her own modeling agency. Her number one client? You guessed it — herself. These recently surfaced pictures were shot in 1999 and are not as raunchy as the ones we've seen in the past. In fact - while not particularly attractive - they're almost classy. The only thing that's missing is the airbrushing that we as a society have come to expect. Oh, and her leg.

The photos were supposedly taken to "promote her anti-landmine charity work" and a source claims they were never used because of Mills' budding relationship with McCartney. But we believe it had more to do with the fact that they were just incredibly ill-conceived. Were they supposed to go on posters? Well, she's naked, so that wouldn't work. In magazines? She wasn't famous, so no to that. Online for creepy fetishists who want to bone a one-legged lady? Yes, but probably not the demographic you want for your landmine charity.

Now, we don't mean to criticize Mills too much. After all, she's been through experiences most of us will never know firsthand. But someone who can identify with her, Yoko Ono, recently defended Mills to the media, saying, "It's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles. I think all the wives did suffer, but suffered quietly and endured." Associated with The Beatles? Suffering quietly? Yes, that definitely describes Paul's wife. His wife Linda McCartney. In fact, while attending a recent gallery opening of his real wife's photos (on the tenth anniversary of her tragic death from cancer) Paul said of Linda, "She was so funny, smart and talented." We can only assume these are traits Paul missed while married to a woman who is none of those things. Oh wait, we were supposed to be not criticizing her...