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The craziest movie star in America is playing a Nazi colonel with one eye, one hand, and three fingers who tries to bomb the Fürher and take over the Third Reich, but instead kills everyone in the room but Hitler, and eventually dies by firing squad. What more could America want on PRESIDENTS' DAY WEEKEND?

We assumed when MGM first pushed back the July 4th release date of Valkyrie, the historical bore-ama directed by Bryan Singer, it was because they came to their senses about releasing a Nazi film on our country's most patriotic day. But the new date, October 3rd, was just so predictable. After all, that's when all the good dramas start coming out. And MGM wants no part of that crowd. After the days of damaged footage, injured extras, and endless re-shoots, the best thing for Valkyrie would surely be to push its release once more, right?

"When an opening became available for President's Day Weekend, we seized the opportunity," said president of domestic distribution Clark Woods (who presumably won his job in an MGM executive poker game by being the best bluffer). "Moving into a big holiday weekend is the right move." Oh, you mean the big holiday weekend that has seen such historical masterpieces as Jumper, Ghost Rider and Eight Below top the box office over the last three years? Thank god the film that was holding that coveted weekend - The Wolf Man, with Benicio Del Toro as a half-man/half-werewolf - got moved so Singer could hop in there with his magnum opus .... And just in time for Oscar season!