Twitter's real-time intimacy may seem suited towards building new relationships, but it's not. It's best for the loose ties that lead to casual sex. The lady who said Twitter was boring? She must have been thinking of the spammy read-my-blog come-ons that dominate the site. What's really exciting is getting to sex in 140 characters or less.
- Select your crushes with care. Your Twitter friends are public, and they reflect on you. Do not just start following every fuckable podcaster and sending "@" replies to every cute blogger. I never add back the guys who only follow iJustine and a few dozen other comely women. Choose someone clever you actually have a chance with.
- Use Twitter like that first cocktail. Reading where she's eating, who she's out with, what she's reading right now isn't really intimacy, but that's nothing new. You don't really know someone any better after one drink's worth of banter, either. Let that warm glow of attention give you confidence. Flirt openly at first — "on the public timeline," in Twitter parlance. Sending a private direct message will feel like leaning in and brushing her hair aside to whisper.
- Be secretly obvious. The direct approach worked with the fanatical Twitter-using girl I most recently enjoyed. While she was seated next to me, I sent an update mentioning how sore I anticipated getting before I went to bed. When she got it 30 seconds later, we both played bashful — but later that night, all that self-effacing dorkiness had disappeared as fast as her dress.