Paris Hilton, heiress and sufferer of chronic droop-eye, would like to breed. She is currently dating one Benji Madden, who allegedly plays for some sort of musical group called "Good Charlotte," and would like to settle down and start a family. But! Trouble is brewing! Paris's on-again-off-again fake best friend, Nicole Richie (sort-of heiress, Peruvian shrunken head) thinks that Paris is just copying her! Nicole is married to fucking Benji's brother, Joel, who is also in this "Good Charlotte." And Nicole just had a baby, Harlow, and now Paris wants one too?? She's such a copycat! Plus, Nicole has to stay home with this stinky baby while Paris gets to bop around Europe with the brothers Madden? So unfair. Next thing you know Paris is going to grab Nicole's arm and say "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself." [Showbiz Spy]

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