Madonna & Rosie Do Their Best to Make Britney Look Like the Sane One

When it comes to Britney Spears' hard knocks and how she should fix 'em, everybody seems to have an opinion. (Ours is that she might want to consider a lovely little vacation in Kentwood, where there are plenty of doctors and no paparazzi). But rarely have the celebs offering their support come across as even more insane than Britney herself. Cue Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell.

It is unclear whether crazy juice was served on the set of A League of Their Own, where Madonna and Rosie first became bosom buddies, but each has come out today with their own nutball thoughts on the Britney situation. Rosie, appearing on Good Morning America today, said she believes that the pressure of being the face of bipolar disorder may be too much strain on the young pop star. The solution? "I want to be the new Britney Spears." Well, we can certainly see why you would want to be younger, thinner and blond, but huh? "Rather than put her face on mental iilness, or Brooke Shields - who had postpartum depression - use me." That's right. The woman who says claims her mental illness started on the day of Columbine. Because of Columbine.

But it gets better. Madonna, in her interview for this month's Vanity Fair, had this to say about the stalkerazzi's relationship with Britney: "When you think about the way people treat each other in Africa, about witchcraft and people inflicting cruelty and pain on each other, then come back here and, you know, people taking pictures of people when they're in their homes, being taken to hospitals, or suffering, and selling them, getting energy from them, that's a terrible infliction of cruelty." I'm sorry, witchcraft? It's not so much that Madge is comparing Britney's treatment to that of the continent of Africa by foreign governments, which would still be overblown and ridiculous. It's that she appears to be comparing the case of Brit Brit v. Paparazzi to the tribal infighting of the Sub-Saharan desert. We look forward to future nonsensical Madonna interviews, where she compares Lindsay Lohan's drug abuse to the oppression of Tibetan monks, or Chace Crawford & Carrie Underwood's breakup to the partition of the Mandate of Palestine.