Sometimes the blind items from the UK's Daily Mirror are a bit indecipherable. What with their crazy slang and "football" celebrities I know aren't Tom Brady. So it's nice to see an item where they're as explicit as possible that it's someone I've heard of. He's an American! OK! Of course the rest of it doesn't really make sense. What sort of "top job"? Is he a business man? A porn actor? A banker? You tell me: "Which hunk of beef was sacked from a top job because he kept running off to have sex with random women when he was supposed to perform? The bad-boy American was unstoppable..." [Mirror] Two more, perhaps as befuddling, items after the jump.

  • "Which divorced celebs, who still share a PR, are driving the poor flack crazy trying to plant mean stories about each other? [NYDN]
  • "This world famous supermodel is head over heels in love. Or is she? Maybe she is just pretending to be in love with her new guy so he won't be suspicious when she tells him she is pregnant. Hopefully he won't find out that he isn't the real daddy. Oh, and hopefully the real daddy's B/A- list film actress girlfriend won't find out either. Oh, and I just realized that none of the participants in this little drama are Americans. In fact, I don't think any of the four people are even from the same country." [Crazy Days and Nights]