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Forget blogging. The future is old media, at least for Perez Hilton. Mario Lavandeira will launch a twice-daily miniradio show starting May 5. The shows, each three minutes long, will run during morning and afternoon drivetimes in LA, NYC and Chicago. He's also going to make more television appearances, appear in a movie, write a book and make a possible deal with Warner Bros. Records. Hilton hopes all the attention will drive traffic to his website and "introduce me, potentially, to a whole new audience." Who needs Perez Hilton? We have our very own gay gossip blogger, and his faux-hawk is far superior to Perez's strange do, thank you very much.