Gaylord Children Invent Gay New Crayons

In honor of the 50th anniversary of the 64-crayon box, Crayola is tarnishing its sacred traditions with eight "newly named colors," supposedly selected by kids, most likely kids who eat crayons. The new names? "Super Happy (yellow), Fun in the Sun (orange), Giving Tree (green), Bear Hug (brown), Awesome (dusty pink), Happy Ever After (blue), Famous (hot pink) and Best Friends (purple)." Oh god, "Super Happy"? "Famous"??? Yeesh. Do not want. Some rejected crayon names, after the jump:

  • Daddy Drinks (taupe)

  • Thorazine (mauve)

  • Foster Home (gray)

  • Batman Is My Only Friend (black)

  • Violent Stepbrother (maroon)

  • I Want to Kiss Boys (also mauve)

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