If it weren't for the petition featuring nearly 168,000 signers calling for his head, we'd probably leave well-enough alone when it comes to genre-hack whipping-boy Uwe Boll. But not even his own targets can resist his thickly accented self-defense, with similarly skill-challenged fauxters Eli Roth and Michael Bay — whom Boll labeled a "fucking retard" in a video released on Wednesday — publicly deflecting Boll's attacks over the last 24 hours. Naturally, with tens of thousands of dollars worth of free publicity at stake, Boll came back against all his haters in yet another stream-of-consciousness slam:
I don't even know why you get off on me like crazy because I'm not in the Hollywood system. I'm the opposite basically, and maybe this is the reason that you all hate me so much, because I prove that you can do it outside the system and you can come up with cheap excuse why you never make it. You are not able to make more than your mini-DV video at home with ketchup and your little brother, so I really think you should wake up at one point and you should put your jealous situation away. And if you write me, you don't write me with some bullshit nicknames out of the internet. Write me with your name and address so that I can track you down and rip you apart. Thank you.
No, Dr. Boll, thank you. Thank. You.