Gawker
Paramount plans to sell old movie clips for a buck each, says the Post. "Hollywood's answer to the ringtone" is available on Facebook and a virtual world called "there" (no, seriously) but Paramount plans to offer the clips as "video ringtones." That's a stupid idea as I'll explain below, but first let's go down the list of films Paramount is selling clips from, by showing clips already available on YouTube.
Top Gun:
Footloose:
Chinatown:
Mean Girls:
Grease:
Forrest Gump:
Zoolander:
So much for the computer market; now for phones.
Am I the only person in the world who keeps his phone in his pocket and doesn't stare at it while it rings? Or is everyone going to start not picking up the phone because they want to watch ten seconds of Top Gun instead? I'm guessing video ringtones will never take off like actual ringtones, but I just don't understand why anyone important at Paramount thinks they will.
Comments
SAL
Hey man, what's that?
PETER
Oh man, dude, it's the last 1:37 of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. (Shows SAL his iPhone.)
SAL
Wow. The video quality is TOTALLY ROCKIN' AWESOME.
PETER
I know. And listen to that muthafuckin' sound.
SAL
Crystal clear! Like those THX trailers in the movie theater with the little stupid robot running around while machine guns, airplanes, jungle animals, creaky swing sets and golf-sized hail are all going off in the background!
PETER
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
SAL
So, how much did you pay?
PETER
One dollar.
SAL (slaps iPhone out of PETER's hand.)
What are you, a fuckin' idiot?
Can't be worse than when I was at the airport a few weeks ago, and the woman in front of me's ringtone was this: *Loud kissing sound* *ringtone in high, squeaky cartoon voice* AHAHAHA I LOVE YOU BABY!!!! over and over and OVER again.
So you're telling me that for a mere... $120 I could buy every clip and then own the ENTIRE MOVIE? Where do I sign up?
@misssgolightly:
I once heard a ringtone with a woman's voice screaming: "Will you pick up the phone already!"
Sometimes can't you just imagine the meeting in the beige-walled room, though, with the fluorescent lights humming and the whiteboard, and the one guy finishes his presentation and looks at everyone else, smiling, and the guy who arranged for him to speak nods and looks around at everyone else, because he just wants to get out of here and go sexually harass the new assistant some more, and he says, "Well, Tim, thanks. I think that sounds like a great opportunity. Anyone else have any thoughts?" And everyone else nods and goes, "Yeah, yeah," and no one ever thinks, "Wait. Would I actually ever use something like this?" because they live in L.A. and the people they want to sell to live in Omaha and they're so totally different, right?
@misssgolightly: Better than the "most annoying sound in the world" a la Dumb & Dumber ringer that my friend has.
What if I'm too distracted looking for veiled homoeroticism in my "Top Gun" ringtone video to actually answer my friend's call?
@SW-2: Veiled? Hardly.
Video ringtones? Ok. This really is hell. I can't wait till the new Boson inspired web comes online for us proles so we can just cut to the full broadband chase...
@donmiguel:
I feel the need... the need... for speed.
I feel the need... the need... for speed.
I feel the need... the need... for speed.
I feel the need...
ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE!!!
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