Anonymous Celebrity Seeking Personal Assistant to Get Directions, Wash Car, Chew Food...

Give your notice! Get your resumes polished! A caps-lock challenged "A-list CELEBRITY MUSICIAN/ACTOR" is making the HR rounds this week, in search of a personal assistant
who stands to gain lucratively ($1,000/week! Net!) for doing everything but tucking our anonymous prima donna into lavender-scented slumber every night — though we presume that's not far behind. Follow the jump for some of the criteria you need to make this thankless gig your own.

Be a willing ear to listen to Artist new creative developments while creating new music projects as well as helping Artist to prepare for movie auditions; including script readings, internet research and shopping for audition wardrobe. ...

Oversee the maintenance and upkeep of multiple residences as well as Artist Automobile(s).

Must be comfortable navigating throughout the Los Angeles Area with the ability to give directions including short cuts. ...

Must be professional, ethical, reliable, organized and multi-task oriented. Confidentiality, discretion, diplomacy and resourcefulness are imperative as is a positive attitude. You should naturally possess a nurturing, compassionate and very personable disposition. Be comfortable as a caregiver with some natural instincts. Nothing over-bearing, just the basics. ...

Know when to have a laid back approach/personality; observing when the Artist is in a creative mode as well as when to assert yourself when on the road and handling business.

Naturally we wonder which industry dynamo requires a college-educated slave simply to read GPS data and take the Mercedes over to Jiffy Lube. That said, $50K per year seems like a small price to pay for an assistant with the "natural instincts" for caregiving and "observing" when the capital-A Artist is in a "creative mode." At least there's some traveling involved; bone up on your state-fair concert circuit and we expect you'll be light years ahead of the game come interview time.