Even Rich Students Bone to Get AheadNew research shows that wealthy college students will trade sexual favors to get what they want. Researchers interviewed 475 undergraduate students and discovered that 25% of them would exchange sexual currency for provisions. The attempted trades included: tickets to the University of Michigan vs. Ohio State game, studying assistance, laundry washed, a Louis Vuitton bag and voice lessons.

The researchers found this to be the case all over the world in different cultures. In other words, young sluts are everywhere, people! Do with this information what you will. This was surprising to the scientists who believed that only poor people have no moral compass.

"It's remarkable to find these patterns in the students in the study," said Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan School of Public Health. "We have seen many examples where people do this out of necessity, but we still see these tendencies in people who are already well provided for."

(For some reason, the study refers to sexual favors as "nuptial gifts." I like that because it sounds like a wedding gift. The next time a friend of mine is getting married, I'm going to ask them if they'd like a "nuptial gift." Then when they say yes, I'll sit on their face naked. It'll be hilarious!)