So the first season of Real Housewives of New York City, Bravo's brilliant car wreck of a reality series (that will soon have an across-the-Hudson spin off...), came to an end last night. What a short run we had! But how much we now know about these truly terrible women! In the finale episode, Jill naturally took the opportunity to throw her money around and had a big party for all the ladies and their families. The big question was, of course, whether Ramona should be pardoned for her past offenses at Bethenny's little dinner party. In the end, the crazy blond dynamo (who also spent the episode shooting botulism into her face) was forgiven, but (oops!) she showed up terribly late and was as awful as everyone expected.
Meanwhile Bethenny went to the racetrack for her birthday, where her father's creepy friend Lou gave her a little black negligee. Because, um, I don't know. Ew. It was a truly uncomfortable moment, but one that Bethenny handled with a bit of her usual good character. LuAnn took the fam to the Statue of Liberty, where old grampa de Lesseps (well, actually her husband) yammered on about the family's history and how important they are. There's something so wicked and menacing about LuAnn's face, isn't there? I really think she would kill a man if she felt she had to. And poor Alex... Well, poor Simon, I guess. After some awkward vibrator conversation (also, what's with his extremely loud and grating laugh?), he learned that his step-father passed away back in Australia. This means he was forced to return down under and be apart, for a long long time, from his dear, horsehair beard. Their insane bond is a bit startling.
And that's it my friends! I have to admit that I didn't watch this episode very closely, as I was busy attending to real life matters. Imagine that. But what about this show as a whole? What does it say about us, about New York City, about housewives? Well, actually, not all that much. It tells us that five women somewhere in this farkakte city are willing to let their ambitions and pettiness balloon and lift them, fake parts and all, into the grainy heavens of TV fame. I just don't think they realize that those balloons have already popped and they've plummeted all the way down to the bottom. And that's really the joy of these shows, isn't it? Wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said "we're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"? Except, some of us in the gutter aren't looking at the stars, we're looking at other people in the gutter who think they're in the stars, looking down at the people in the gutter. So. There you go.
Will this be the last of the New York ladies? No! It's coming back. Yay!(?) Also upcoming? The Real Housewives of New Jersey, about five wealthy "McMansion"-living suburbanites who navigate the chilly ennui of leaves falling from the trees every autumn and the first blush of crocuses in the springtime. Or something. Good Lord.