This image was lost some time after publication.

Sex professionals, like every other contractor in the Valley, can and will turn down your propositions. I just did that to a married guy from Apple who thought he'd earned a freebie. At $250 a date, most women don't need to accept all takers. How do the n00bs flub a deal with a pro?

  • 1. Ask for a special rate.At restaurants, do you haggle the menu prices when ordering? Valley guys in particular seem to feel that if they don't wrangle down the price of a date, they're not big men. Yeah, and how about you give your boss a discount on your salary? After all, his company isn't like the other companies — it's special.
  • 2. Speak in acronyms.Talking in code won't fool the law enforcement officers you imagine are spying on you. It's just tacky. Rather than mumble that you're "very oral and looking for a BBBJ and some XPT without the GFE," read her reviews to see if it's what she's good at. That seems easier.
  • 3. Expect to buy 3, get 1 free. The surest way to never get back in my appointment book is to try to get together "for fun" — i.e., for free. Like I told Married Apple Guy this week: Once a client, always a client. If you want to "hang out," try OkCupid .

(Photo from Mistress Ai-Li)