My parents are coming to visit this weekend, so I'm spending the next two days feverishly cleaning my apartment, trying to erase the sad stains of my existence. To that end, I'm going to clean up this post as best I can. After the jump there's a filthy blind item about TV star sex, but I'm not putting that out there for all to see! Instead, a simple story of a mean stylist lady and a poor overweight actress: "Which celebrity stylist has been banned by Louis Vuitton because its stuff has a habit of not coming back from her shoots? She also had that full-figured star of a hit TV comedy leave the set in tears after telling her, 'Ugh, I can't believe you don't fit into that!'" [Gatecrasher] Click through for two more, including that dirty one. But not if you're my parents!

  • "This B list television actor who is the star of his own drama series on a network has a very odd sexual habit. It seems that he doesn't actually have sex. Oh, he hits on women and brings them home or more often to a hotel since he is married, but he never actually has sex with him. He acts like he is going to have sex with them, but when push comes to shove, he tells each and every one of his conquests that he prefers watching. So, he has them pleasure themselves while he watches. If they balk, or when they finish, he always says he has an early call and sends them on his way. Never does anything but watches." [Crazy Days and Nights]
  • "Which snobby celeb refused to play a UK show because the private jet laid on wasn't the "correct" private jet? The diva doesn't even realise that she was lucky to be invited!" [Mirror]