Carrie should be run over by that bus with her billboard.

I think SJP should sink into the mud like the horse in Never Ending Story while the others watch and cry.

the all of the above button seems to be on the fritz

c) Feminism

@StrawBerryShortCake:
Ditto, sorta, I'll take 1,2,&3 via 4
There are those damned Shiny Jersey Gurlz again.
Meh

Samantha should go the way of the lead character in Zoo, perhaps replaced with SJP's cock.

All four dusty hags... gonorrhea.

[youtube.com]

Isn't it always the slut who dies in a horror movie?

*inevitable Julia Allison write-in joke*

SOMEONE'S GOTTA DO IT

I think it's pretty clear that this movie will kill off:
A. The married one's elderly mother-in-law
B. The married one's elderly nanny
C. The increasingly tired-looking Chris Noth
D. The audience members' sex drives

@the Librarian: she already looks like she has been hit by a bus, a train, a stampeding herd of cattle - I'm still hoping they release a film version where she does not appear - they can fill in the airtime with Samantha's sex scenes.

The redheaded lawyer should die when her bartender husband finally murders her for being an elitist beeyatch,

This was hilarious. Also, no one good is going to die, it'll be like in Beverly Hills 90210 when they told you "one of the gang" was going to eat it and it ended up being the blonde kid no one cared about after he spun his family gun around like a spastic and shot himself in the torso.

Parole Son of Sam and give him a new black dog. This whole nightmare will be over in hours.

Carrie's chin mole should die at the hands of Dr. Zizmor, and she should have it cremated, and then muse with the gals about whether it should be made into a diamond, or dusted across the drying lacquer of a brand new Manolo in Italy, or sneakily stuffed into one of Mr. Big's cigars, creating a hideous, moley blunt and bonding them forever.

The dark-haired ninny should become a vegetable from too many injections of Botox, and Samantha should not die. She should be bronzed naked and put in the middle of Central Park, along with the other gaudy sculptures.

It'll be Charlotte's adopted Asian child because:
a)she finally conceived
b)Asian babies are OUT, African babies are IN!

I'd vote for the Cosmopolitan, but I think Melville already finished him off.

@BlissSister: Nothing will ever replace the Bulgarian sex slave.

@PickleTitsTurner: That scene made me fear quicksand for life. And think that it was a common occurrence in forests, so I was afraid of my own backyard. Thanks, Never Ending Story!

@Unfun: SO THAT'S IT. I finally understand the episode of Clone High where they announce that one of the clones you love will die, but you don't know who, and mysteriously there's a picture of luke perry, and then luke perry guest stars as the clone of ponce de leon and is killed by litter.

That show is serious gold. Not gold which is kidding around. Serious.

@Pope John Peeps II: "Nothing bad ever happened to the Kennedys!"

Great show.

Everyone but Carrie will die. Violently. In a Barny's Warehouse Sale riot which sets the garment district on fire. Michael Kors, Calvin, Marc, Donna Karan are all jumping from their offices on fire. Patricia Fields in a cameo is devoured by the roving mob.

Then, when Carrie wakes up the next morning she goes into the bathroom and says to Mr. Big, "I had the strangest dream last night."

@Ruutuu: Right on!

It's Steve's mother. Miranda finds out that Steve cheated on her with that slut he dated before Miranda and Steve got back together. Just as she is throwing his stuff out onto Carroll Street, he comes to the door with that puppy dog look and says, "Ma died." She relents and takes him back.

Samantha will die from breast cancer (remember?). Smith will die from unprotected anal. Ditto SJP. Noth will end up with redhead's husband, and redhead, in a jealous rage, will kill off everyone who's left, then realize she's gay (she is) and say, "Never mind.''

While walking through central park in a ballet dress, a horse mistakens carrie for a fellow equine, and proceeds to mount her and impales her with his ginormous thing-thing.

CYNTHIA NIXON DIES TOWARD THE END OF THE MOVIE...SHE GETS RUN OVER BY A CAR IN BROOKLYN...and then Samantha jokes at the funeral that Miranda did say she was never going to get out of Brooklyn again. (I have a friend who worked on movie)

I think that Darth Vader dies in this one after a lightsaber duel with Carrie and Steve. In Pastis. While high on whippets. Wearing Manolo Blahniks. At Sunday brunch. While drinking cosmo-tinis.

Oh, who cares? It all turns out to have been a fantasy in the mind of an autistic kid with a snow globe anyway...

What brendastarlet said.

Altho plasticene may have a point; it would be just like SJP to kill off Sam so Cattrall can't be in any sequels.

The Sex and the City film is actually just a remake of the Eyes of Laura Mars. Carrie Bradshaw's eyes are poked out by her Blahniks.

@louise: yes, that would be sweet revenge. And then she'll turn to JHud and say, "we've never had a black friend. Would you be ours?"

@Mediahohoho: Yes, but it is never the slut who dies in the whore movie. Meaning, no one will die, except maybe Steve's other testicle.

This would have been too good of an idea to include.

brendastarlet, the entire line would read: "we've never had a black friend. Would you be ours and teach us how to dance?"

Also, now that you mention it, maybe JHud will die. Isn't it the black actor who's always first to buy the farm in horror movies?

The correct answer is "all of us, a little bit, on the inside."

I TOTALLY KNOW WHO DIES!!!!!!!!!!!

Carrie will be swallowed up by that huge blue scrunchie; while running to save her friend's Manolo's, Samantha will be hit by a Coors Light truck and thrown into the gutter. Her last words will be, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

Has to be SJP at the hands of one of the old flames. Aidan spends years in therapy but still can't let go. It wasn't only mentally he would kick her ass all over Manhattan.

Mr. Big -- opening scene, morning, with Carrie watching from the window of her apartment, in a massive limousine explosion.

@Unfun: Kinda like that preview for an episode of the OC where they promised violence between Marissa and SweatyLip (can't remember the character's actual name, but that's what my husband & I called him), complete with sound effect of firing gun. But in the actual episode the gun never actually goes off. Teases.

@dashenbka: Oh! Tell me!!

I don't think any of the main four will die - maybe someone tangential like Carrie's little bald gay friend.

Gah what's his name....Stanford?

I think New York dies.

@SSteele: I think it's Sanford.

@Tony the Tiger IS BACK: That spoiler was not so grrrrrrrrrreat, Tony.

Me. I will die. Because this shit is bullshit and I am far too sensitive to coexist with such an intense level of bullshit. And I say this as someone who has survived most of three Bush administrations, two full Reagans, a bit of Nixon, and the existence of both Harry Potter books and sweatsuits as acceptable streetwear.

We are counting Matthew Broderick as one of the women, right? Then, yes, he will die of Nathan Lane withdrawal seeing as SJP just never quite filled those womanly pants.

Charlotte, shotgun.

the audience -- it would be a mercy killing.

@Steverino: Very cute.

The Justice of The Peace at Big's and Carrie's wedding, after staring too long at Carrie's blue, feathery, headdress thing-a-ma-jiggy.

Nathan Lane's character dies. The gay pianist who married the rich lady? That's the only explanation as to why Bitsy Von Muffling's character is even in the film.

@Chaim Gnadelstein: That would be art imitating life.