• Hillary Clinton began the week the way we ended it.
  
• Oh, then she debated Barack Obama and was on Colbert. An exhausted and sad Chris Matthews told us about it.
  
• Emily Brill said basically the dumbest thing ever. We really wouldn't miss the internet that much.
  
• A man was trapped on an elevator for 41 hours, and he went mad. We read about Martha Stewart's dead dog and went sad.
  
• We asked who should quit the Times, which made one journalist very upset with us.
  
• Pretend New York is so pretty! The real New York is just odd, as always. (Also: poor!)
  
• Sometimes even if you are famous on the internet you still need to get a real job.
  
• Even the dolphins have personal trainers now!
  
• Nina Garcia had a rough one. She left Elle under mysterious circumstances and then there was some intrigue. And a pretend office.
  
• Sex and the City will kill you.
  
• There was fierce debate about this but we didn't pay any attention to it.
  
• Seriously, fuck this week. The only good thing to come out of it was this.
  
• Oh, and Nick did something or other. And so did the Dalai Lama.

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.