Have you ever found yourself mindlessly trying on the latest pair of $800 jeans at Fred Segal and suddenly realized, you know what? It must be way hard for all those African girls out there in Africa and The Iraq Such As to even wear jeans like this. Why? As "Cameron Diaz" (flawlessly portrayed by Tracey Ullman) informs us, for the very first time all their genitals are falling off! The suckiest part? "This is the golden age of American blue jeans! It's really sad and amazing." The fictional burp-happy actress' solution, of course, is to star in That Terrible Time Of The Month, in which a gun-toting Diaz burps and farts her way through the jungle to save each and every halfway-severed ladypart from girls named Toko. For more insight, including Bono's method of miming the actual chop and toss, watch our clip after the jump.
Though Anna Faris did an excellent job not-so-subtly impersonating a Cameron Diaz-esque actress in Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation, we vastly prefer Ullman's bolder take. Starting out by burping repeatedly, loudly, and proudly, "Diaz" explains (as she has in nearly every single magazine profile she's ever done) that she "just does that." It's cool, okay? As for how she became interested in this cause, it seems that while jet-setting with Bono aboard Larry David's plane, Bono proceeded to spread her legs and mime the act itself. Which "Diaz" happily re-enacts by pointing directly to the area in question. But our favorite moment by far occurs during the "clip" shown during the faux interview, in which Diaz extracts an overjoyed African girl mid-operation, turns towards the evildoers, and simultaneously pumps her gun while letting out one of her trademark "just one of the guys" farts. Though to her credit, pushing one's toned buttocks upwards while relieving oneself does seem to make the act slightly more ladylike. Ullman, we bow down to you once again, and promise to never stop incessantly recommending your show (Tracey Ullman's State Of The Union! On Showtime!) If you don't watch this show, we'll kill this...well, we'll just be sad.
- TRACEY ULLMAN'S STATE OF THE UNION [Showtime]