OMFG, I take it all back. The Gossip Girl phenomenon isn't the worst thing ever. I mean, how could it be when last night's triumphant return episode was just so good? I mean, well, it wasn't that good. It was no Brandon and Kelly hook up in Washington D.C. or Angela rides her bicycle down a Pittsburgh hill, arms outstretched. But, you know, it was good for this show. Starting with the lovely Breakfast at Tiffany's homage and ending with the mysterious revelation of the drug-sending "G" (who we know to be Georgina, played by Michelle Trachtenberg), it was as full of humor and intrigue as this show gets. Oh, and The HIlls was on. Recaps and video after the jump.
Blair and Jenny were the stars of last night's episode, both vying for power over the dim, boring cadre of strangely dressed girls who populate the background of the show. (Though, not so much in the background this episode. Except for poor, inexplicably Asian Katy Farkas, who was shipped off to Israel!) Blair was sad about her dethroning and wore a little kerchief and sunglasses ensemble to disguise herself. Until Serena told her to take it off, saying that everything would be fine at school. Upon Blair's arrival at Constance, young, salamander-esque Jenny hurled yogurt into her hair and everyone laughed. Jenny was in! Sort of! All was not fine and dandy for the littlest Humphrey: she couldn't keep up with the financial strain of having a totally cool wardrobe! So she eventually resorted to stealing a red dress from one of her dopey friends and pawning it for the $1200 dress she really wanted. Little did she know, the one she took was a custom Valentino and worth a bamillion dollars, and was reported stolen by the girl's mother (they blamed the maid). So yeah, Jenny spiraled out of control. At the nadir of her spiral, Blair, angry over a stand-up at Butter (people still go there?), orchestrated a mortifying surprise party for Jenny at her family's hideous, dumpy, bright, spacious, and airy DUMBO loft. She was caught red handed (har har) with the dress, and the goils stormed out. Poor, broken Jenny ran to Nate (whose job this episode consisted of saying "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?") and ended up dragging him to Butter so her gaydarless friend could ooh and ahh at him. This was enough to welcome Jenny back into the fold, meaning Blair was out again. Alas, the lovable Blair's re-ascent to the throne was short lived, but I was happy that the writers seem prepared to keep this story line going for a while rather than wrapping it up neatly and quickly, as they tend to do.
Over in Serena territory, she sucked face with dopey Dan and sparred with soon to be step-brother Chuck "Sort of Appropriately Cast Because He Looks Like a Catfish" Bass. And she was being sent mysterious packages! Like porn and handcuffs, cases of expensive champagne, and little baggies of cocaine. She totes blamed Chuck. And to make matters worse, the little fairy that lives with her, Eric, was becoming friends with the nefarious fop. (They were probably playing a step-brotherly game of Army Doctor). But, what's this? At the end of the episode Serena received a chilling, bright yellow notecard with bubbly handwriting on it, grimly asking if she'd liked the gifts. It was from Georgina, who is on her way back! Serena fled to Chuck's hotel suite, where he'd been banished for the suspected bad behavior. He understood exactly who "G" was and gravely offered Serena a drink. So that's kind of exciting and ominous and whatever. I'm also, of course, keeping a close eye on Flounder, I mean Eric, because he's totally going to come out soon. Yesssss.
Over on The Hills, equal drama was going down, in its odd, muted way. The Heidi/Audrina/Lauren ballet continued, at a clurrrb of course, where Lauren yet again made it abundantly clear that she just can't abide Heidi or Justin Bobby. Yes, Justin Bobby! The brooding scarecrow came back on the scene and... he was not that bad. Didn't he seem a lot nicer in this episode? I dare say he actually listened to what Audrina had to say about her Lauren vs. Heidi issues. So that was nice to see. A little evolution, perhaps! Meanwhile Lo, who continues to tease us with her splendiferous bitchy side, wooed Lauren into renting a house. The pair half-heartedly invited Audrina to move in with them at the end of the episode, making it clear that the road to domestic bliss will be as bumpy as the hills for which the television program is named. [cue foghorn] In Spencer territory, his hilarious (and oddly endearing) descent into couch bum continued, peppered only with a testy conversation with Heidi. Not sure how his bitching and moaning factors into "Operation Win Heidi Back," but whatever, it's fun to watch. Ohh dear, and was it not wonderful/devastating when Heidi said she was coming to check up on him, and he shot back "You just said you came here to see Stephanie" and she made that sad little gurgling noise? When this show actually has a moment of, you know, reality, it just soars. Because these people can be hilariously (and heartbreakingly) human sometimes. I wish there was more of it. It makes you think of how terrific this show could have been if only the producers hadn't focused so much on forced situations. Sigh.
Either way, I continue to be entertained and wish long lives to both series. As ever, I ask humbly, what did you think?