Gawker
Our favorite cocaine-dappled redhead, actress Lindsay Lohan, has a Facebook profile! But it's undercover... She goes by the name "Lindsay Ronson," using the last name of her friend (girlfriend perhaps??), DJ Samantha Ronson. She's friends with Marc Jacobs, his ex-fiancé (and former hooker) Jason Preston, The Hills' Lauren Conrad, model Jessica Stam, random internet socialite Cory Kennedy, and a whole host of other notable idiots. It's funny to see that all these loathsome people are connected, though I guess it makes some perfect cosmic sense in a way. Though maybe they don't all get along. She's friends with a "Hiilary Duff" (a notorious enemy) and, judging by her "Wall," she and model Lauren Hastings seem to be in some sort of fight. Also, as you can see from her "Status," she's totes serious about her new sober living ("It was 430 am!!!" she offers as cryptic explanation for something), even though she's been seen hard partying all over the place. Radar has two theories about the possibly "glassy-eyed" Long Islander). Find her "Wall" after the jump, plus, a profile picture of French toast and Parliament Lights (yum!), from Radar
Comments
"430 am" is the radio home of the terminally bland.
I cannot believe she hasn't added the Fun Wall yet.
Loathsome is the new talented.
Excuse me. I have to run off and poke her.
I feel bored for her.
I had really thought Cory Kennedy had ceased from existence. I'm not saying that making a cameo on LiLo's facebook wall is existing, but it still makes me upset.
The CDC should be notified about this.
screengrab of lauren conrad's profile next please. and i think it says something about her "career" when she has time for facebook status updates...
Do you think she likes Scrabulous?
I believe the "430 am" is meant as clarification of the profile picture, which could, to the unsympathetic viewer, be viewed as a bacchanalian.
and who is this lauren hastings starting shit on her wall?
Awww... I wish this were real, but the profile's not even set to private, so I don't buy it.
@MyMuffinTop: I bet her favorite facebook app is BWE's My Lil Lohan.
@VoxPopuli: You don't buy that Lindsay Lohan could total fuck something so simple up and/or be a total attention whore?
she definitely got drugs for that cameron guy.
at least she's not a myspace whore. facebook is so much more classy.
@semiserious: I totes have a lil lohan... my friend just gave her some banana quik and now she's "back in rehab"... rough day.
@VoxPopuli: I don't buy it either.
I'm going to 'refrain myself from saying what's really on my mind' about that unintelligible garbage.
@I_Think_Its_A_Pomeranian: I was in a fake lindsay lohan's top friends on myspace for a while. I have no idea how it happened. I hope that wasn't my 15 minutes.
@EleanorRigby: Lauren Hastings is the model who claimed Lindsay stole $10k worth of her clothes.
oh Snap. Lauren Hastings said she was looking pretty thick. they should send the digital drink gift things to each other to make up.
learning that we have no mutual internet friends really made my day. not that i expected us to.
She needs to add the Happy Hour app, so I can send her a bottled water. :)
@izzodee544: it only counts if the fake lindsay lohan got you drugs.
@EleanorRigby: it's a girl she used to live with whose clothes she stole. facebook told me.
oh man if you click on jason preston's page, topanga from boy meets world posted on his wall, ahh hahahhaha
i misread that maddox friend of hers to be maddox jolie-pitt but of course ange and braddy would never let their brood near the evil computer.
She's going to Coachella? With Cory Kennedy??
Ohhh... coachella....
*he says, with tragic wistfulness over long lost nobility*
She's in the Mexican network?
Total dealer hook-up.
@MyMuffinTop: She's boycotting until they agree to accept 'adequite' as a word.
if you're updating your facebook status at 7:49 am...hmmm.
Oh my lord Gawkers, the Jez comments on this story are pricelessly creepy. Creepily priceless?
"by ♥ dosido ☮ at 09:15 AM Reply *
I just wish I could whisk Lindsay up and take her to the country for a few months. You know, let her hang out with behbeh lambs and behbeh cows and get her fingers in the dirt and feed bunnies and stuff."
"by BAngieB at 11:18 AM Reply *
While I appreciate everyone's willingness to help her, it is MY job to whisk my pretty, pretty girl away for lots of fresh hair, home-baked cookies, and hairbrushing."
Lordy lordy.
@Pope John Peeps II: If there's one thing we can all agree on about Lindsay lohan, it's that she could use from fresh hair.
@Pope John Peeps II: And more freckles.
I'm calling Lohanigans on this profile...she doesn't even have a "My Lil Lohan" to give gifts to.
@Monstrosa: Suddenly, all I could think of was a Miracle Worker-esque situation involving this commenter beaming with glee when Linds finally gets out "Wah Wah!"
Ha! I poked her and didn't even contract anything.
Amateur! She doesn't even have "What vegetable are you?" on her facebook page. Meh.
I'm a little disappointed that she hasn't fully customized her page to be totally Lohan-centric. Why, apart from Lil' Lohan application, I think she might enjoy the Lindsay Lohan status app, the "Lindsay Lohan: American Hero" group and of course, Dope Wars (join my cartel, Lindsay!).
I think ''it was 4.30 a.m'' may be a political statement of some kind, on Lindsay's part.However I thought that the first comment on her page was, ''Let's play rice'', so this may not be true.
who is lindsay hastings and why is she talking smack?
Bad - that I have a mutual friend with her.
Worse - that he's from the Nassau County, NY network.
I will never escape LI...
@flynnchick: Seriously though, if she asked herself that question?Imagine the vortex that would create.It would have far-reaching scientific implications.I don't think any of us is ready for that yet.
I dunno, I think this one might be the real deal...I know some of the people she's friends with and they are LA-sceney people. Unless the new thing is making fake profiles for non-famous LA hipsters and then facebook friending fake profiles of famous LA hipsters, this profile is real real real.
@BAngieB: i will use the term "lohanigans" in a sentence today, i swear
I ain't buyin' it, neither.
Mainly because I think the "real" LiLo's FB page would be a veritable repository of pics of her. This one only has the 1.
Lohan on Facebook = sad
The two Coreys on Facebook trying to drum up support for The Lost Boys 2 = sadder
And yet, Lohan has something to aspire to.
Keepin' my Lil Lilo clean since, well this morning.
I have a job.
Besides - where's the "feelin' stabby" feature?
@Pope John Peeps II: Die-hard Jezebelles give me a headache. A big headache.
I'm proud to say that I the same number of than her, although I'm not sure this will be the case now that the secret's out. But it should be about even again once my Facebook name is revealed on Fleshbot.
@StabbyFerosh:
Meh
[thesuperficial.com]
Perhaps 430 am is the 4/20 of alcohol. Mayhaps she was just celebrating the end of prohibition that was inflicted upon her by AA meetings. I salute you, LL.
Why are you all so mean to this girl?? I dont get it..I enjoy gossip as much as the next guy..But when your dealing with addicts..who have no control over their impulsive behavior..compassion should be the rule of the day...treatment is what they need..not gossip terrorism
If she shows up on Mob Wars, she'll be no part of my Mob. We'll gang up and put a hit on her Mob Wars persona. Ha!
I can believe the powder, the cigarettes, and the diet coke in that last picture but there's no way any Hollywood starlet would eat four slices of bread.
@Lazy Line Painter Jane: She has a few peeps from our hometown too that are her actual friends. There are two chicks, her hometown besties, that are missing, but it seems like she just joined, so who knows.
Im thinking this is for realz.
Totally asked to be her friend...
IDK my BFF Lindsay
@Pope John Peeps II: Bless your heart, you must be one of those people who don't get it.
im totally befriending her RIGHT NOW
then sending her shitloads of bumper stickers so we can be BFFs
"It was 430 am" means it doesn't count because it was so late. It's sort of like the "five second rule."
She's really saying: "Give me a break! It was 4:30 AM! I'd made it over 20 hours without a drink, but i needed to make the shakes stop for a little while so I could at least get some sleep!"
@BAngieB: Yes, I would be one of those people who doesn't get morbidly obsessed with strangers who I've seen on television.
@bess marvin, girl detective: ditto. brilliant.