Newsflash: All Gawker commenters stopped by police, frisked and taken in for questioning. Sheila, a repeat offender, goes to the big house.

Huzzah, Crocker! Maybe teh Gawks can't slap something together for you on Cafepress? Or at the very least get you a clafoutis--I hear them things get you laid.

...cafepress? Come on. The man deserves a prize.

@IBentMyWookie: Amen. You beat me to it.

good tags.

Good job guys!

I'm finally getting the attention I've been seeking. I mean deserve.

Hooraaaaaay, my future gaming partner!

@Tnuc: Oh, yeah. And meant assist, Tnuc!

Yay! Which pocket? And enough for the rest of us?

@DorothyMantooth:

This is why my love for Gawker goes unconcealed. Outside of my boot.

@In Other News...: Booty bumps in the bathroom in 10 minutes.

@Tnuc: For fuck sake, that's the second time I've done that!

@DorothyMantooth: Thanks, Dorthy! While my name is on the front page of this fine establishment, that makes me *kind of* famous, so I will have to ask that you don't look me in the eye.

I am sorry, but you must understand, I am a star.

Just put on a sign that says "Arrest Me."

@htotheomo: That said, snarkily, I say, non-snarkily, that I hope the guy gets off of it.

@Tnuc: Are you high on meth?

"You like meth! You really, really like meth!"

Not the best idea for me to go rolling into a Brooklyn precinct with that on, yelling: "Hi honey!". So perhaps this is for the best. Hmm.

How about one of those paper crowns from a Christmas cracker with the words: "And A Dildo In My Boot"?

@DorothyMantooth: We might be laughing too hard to actually win.

@htotheomo: Yep. And I've got a dildo stuffed in my boot.

Fancy joining me for a quiet night in?

@Tnuc: But do have you have any rope? I think that's the question.

Otherwise, yes, get to Cincinnati, like, now! :)

@Tnuc: Also, I don't think it would be a quiet night, with all of the meth talk.

For the record, and for my future constituents, I have never done meth. To my knowledge.

@Tnuc: Our echo-ey sync-iness is making me nervous, dear. Ouija me, k?

@BettyCrocker: But you know Sheila totally would roll into the precinct in that. She'd be all "come on bitches, gimme what you got. I'm not afraid of you fascists!"

In short, Sheila, please be my friend.

Nice one, Betty!

@IBentMyWookie: Most cops would probably laugh. Then she'd be frisked, and write an awesome post about the whole thing. And you could be her friend with bail!

@lawyergay: Thx!

@Tnuc: I wouldn't dream of it, darlin'! Would you like a coffee? Shine your shoes?
(Also, the fact that you keep doing that makes me feel like I have a magic forcefield around me. I like it!)

@BettyCrocker: I'm positive we would be, m'dear! You're the best!

@BettyCrocker: Just meet him at the door (to your domicile) wearing it. A frisk doesn't have to be bad.

@htotheomo: Yep -- would you like to see it? My little pope on a rope!

I haven't done meth, either, BTW, the Rohypnol takes up all the space in my pocket.

@BettyCrocker: I sent a message through the internet. But it rejected?

@DorothyMantooth: Thanks Dorothy! I'd like a non-fat, tall, extra-hot, soya-milk, fair-trade, coffee-tasting, skinny, double de-caf mocha, please. If they haven't got that, I'll just have water.

@Tnuc: U haz a message.

@BettyCrocker: Ohhh -- ta. I've sent you a message, as well.

I wasn't courting your details, BTW. I was quoting lyrics from a very old song.

+ Watch video

Uh, I posted the link to the shirt at the exact same time as BettyCrocker, before Tnuc did.

@Tnuc: Sorry, I didn't understand any of the words that came after "I'd like." How 'bout a Scotch rocks?

And please. Call me Mantooth!

@DorothyMantooth: A Scotch rocks would be great, thanks, Mantooth! Can I get some water for me groupies?

@smitty: Ah, so you did. But you posted a link to a hacked CNN URL; they've since changed them, so the link you posted doesn't work. I posted a link to an image. (I hope that makes sense!)

But kudos, Smitty!