The internets are ablaze with the controversial question that has come to define our era: Will Britney Spears be the next spokesperson for Bally's Fitness? The rumors started this month, with appropriate denials from the company, Ever since the LA Times broached the topic last week by noting all the time Britney's been spending at the gym with her two trainers, the celebroblogosphere has been on permanent Bally's watch. The company claims they're just helping her get into shape out of concern for her health. And let's hope so. Can you imagine the escape clauses that would have to go into a spokesperson contract with the mentally unstable pop tart?

—Any gain in body fat of more than 5% will result in this contract being void.

—Trips to fast food outlets in excess of one per week will result in this contract being void.

—Publicized drug use will result in this contract being void.

—Photos showing spokesperson driving with kids not restrained by child safety seats will result in this contract being void.

—The release of a new album that sucks will result in this contract being void.

—On stage performances featuring a zombified spokesperson who is clearly too drugged out of her mind to perform the necessary dance moves will result in this contract being void.

—The spokesperson's inevitable regression towards her natural body composition will result in this contract being void.

—Discovery that our spokesperson is in fact Britney Spears, a danger to herself and others, will result in this contract being void.

—How about we just give you two free personal trainers and reap the free publicity instead?

(Confidential to Britney: These people don't care about your health. Drop them immediately in favor of this:)