I pooped a Greg-alogue yesterday.

And here's my face - :-P

But, Greg - I defended Mr. Snow... So I demand that you read my comments - verbatim - and attribute them to my faceless commenter name. So that my pointless commenting on a blog receives minor attention on your show that nobody watches. And the cycle will be complete!

So cowardly we'd forcibly affix a little flag pin to his scrotum. Yeah, that cowardly.

My screen name used to be Itla when I blogged from Eliza Doolittle's.

Greg, Betty Crocker's name is right there on the screen, dumbass.

Oh, sit on my faceless.

"...feed off the misery of other people..."

Since when is Fox News concerned with the misery of "other people"?

Actually, we wrote about Kevin Sorbo ... just yesterday, in fact!

[defamer.com]

This is why I only leave shitty comments about Tony Snow on my Facebook.

Bring it, Greg! I'll gladly repeat anything I wrote to your / Snow's face.

Greg Gutfeld deserves to come down with shingles.

Signed,

Nunya Bidness

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Is that almost equivalent to a Commie?

I am not liberal!

@BettyCrocker: Let him eat (your) cake. Actually, that sounds bad, so never mind.

And wtf is Kevin Sorbo doing up at 3am? Did he just finish his shift at Bennigans?

I think I'll have "the misery of other people" for lunch today. I got some fresh at C-Town this morning.

I can be a real shitbag under my given name as well, I'll have you know, Mr. (pause to scroll up to find this fellow's name) Greg (shit, forgot already, have to do it again) Gutfeld.

Did that bloated, ugly, fuckface fuckwit just say our beloved commenter had a "stupid fat face?" Just checking (scurries away roachlike).

ugh! i hate kevin sorbo! my sister used to have this big crush on him and we were forced to watch his stupid, stupid show all of the time because of her. fuck him!

Why, I have half a mind to ring his doorbell and run.

@LeGagneur:
I know. Seriously.

More than a few of us are Maoists, Mr. Fuckfield. Get it straight.

He seems serious!! Doesn't he seem serious? He's really good, I'm actually fairly convinced. The only scary thing is, wouldn't you sort of need to be a peanut-headed sadist douchebag in real life to seem that much like one while doing ironic performance art?

I tried to watch, I got a minute in, and then I found myself very, very glad that Greg Gutfield uses his real name, so that I can find him and beat the shit out of him.

Crap. I know I'm just perpetuating the cycle, but I swear I'll stop after I beat the shit out of him.

Since Greg Gutless is jealous of the attention heaved upon Tony Snow's cancer, I propose a thread devoted entirely to the origin of Greg's herpes.

In terms of dickishness, it's nothing compared to the comments for this Gizmodo post:

[gizmodo.com]

@In Other News...: He deserves to be pied, really, and that's Mrs. Smith's job.

Also, why does he always make the same exact face that my friend Barry's 18 month old son does whan he's about to poo in his diaper? Too many stewed prunes, Greg?

Does it still count as being mean if I wish Gutfield gets hit by a car but in a really happy way? Like a car full of clowns and they get out and do a funny little dance to pass time until the ambulance comes? And then he gets lots of morphine and paid medical leave from work and eventually recovers?

May you have a spectacularly fun accident, Greg Gutfield!

It's absolutely unconscionable that someone whose job it is to go on the news as the public face of the most powerful man in the world could face such public approbation! What's next, criticizing the fucking PRESIDENT!?! If press secretaries have to answer to the media, what is next, I ask you?!

Anonymous commenting is like having a show on at 3AM in the morning. No one can hear you except for the other inmates in the asylum.

Dear Greg Gutfeld:

Don't try and coax us out of our cloaks of anonymity - it won't work.

Having said that, most (if not all) of us are decent human beings who know when to turn off the snark. But many (if not most) of us simply cannot switch off emotions, especially when it comes to people they've been honed to hate.

No one was happier than me to see Tony Snow pop up on Larry King Tuesday evening, where Tony was introduced as the new "political contributor" for CNN. When news broke the next day that he had fallen ill and was forced to cancel a planned appearance, I, and probably many others, were again given cause to worry about Tony's health.

Say what you will about Tony's politics, or the man (and administration) he used to work for, but we all know that Tony Snow is a human being, and that deep down, even those who made snarky "karma is a bitch" comments probably don't really wish ill will towards the man.

Our prayers are with him, okay Greg? Now you have to take it down a notch.

Love,

Faceless commenter

Hey Mr. Gutfield -

I said nothing about Tony Snow.
You're OK with YOUR FOX COLLEAGUE John Gibson's show claiming John Edwards 'whored out' his wife's cancer for his campaign? That's great.

I'll tell you who I am if you tell me who the fuck Kevin Sorbo is.

@BettyCrocker: Protest pied?

I like how Fox News feels the need to provide viewers with this definition of the term "Greg-alogue" at the bottom of the screen: "It's a monologue, but with Greg."

I can just see thousands of 3 am Fox News viewers nodding slowly and muttering, "Ohhhh.... Greg-alogue! Now I get it!"

I may be faceless, but these actually are my tits and until you send mr. denton a devotional photograph of your nutsack nestled behind a bottle of absinthe I fucking DARE you to call me a coward again.

They let people talk on television when all the televisions are off? How quaint! Greg must feel like one of those post-apocalyptic radio broadcasters, bravely filling the void with inane commentary.

May the albinos find and consume him.

You have no idea what cowardice is, sir, until you see me in the presence of a spider.

Worse than Hitler!? I love angry little man.

PPPUUUUSSSSSSYYYYYY!

I didn't listen to it, but he looks a little bit like Andy Bernard from The Office. Maybe that show would be more successful if they hired Ed Helms. I'd sure watch it.

I'm afraid he's totally right. Scurrying away...

@In Other News...: Well, he'd actually have to do or say something protest-worthy. Random constipated shouting doesn't rise to that level - it would be like pie-ing a hobo. It might be better if we just handed him the pie. At least it would buy 5 blessed minutes of peace.

@In Other News...: Several notches below one, actually. I'm almost certain close to 5000 people read the Commies posts. I'm guessing Red Eye's viewership is about one third of that, depending on whether it's up against Andy Griffith re-runs or not on the given night.

Oh Greg, do tell. You're the man. Another 8,000 viewers and you're worth $7.50.

I don't know who any of these people are, but apparently they're unfamiliar with the code of ethics we employ here at Gawker...that being anyone, thing, event, embarrassing debacle, sinister plan, conservative moral code, thought-impaired celebrity, and all high-minded cumwads are fair game. In short:

You = Snark from us

I guess Mr. Gutfield doesn't enjoy the Slam Page I dedicated to Tony Snow, Patrick Swayze, Lance Armstrong, and Pavarotti.

Existential question: If you have a face, but not one watches it aren't you just as a faceless as us?

Gawker commenters may be herpes-riddled, uncouth, porn stars, troglodytes, mouth-breathers, attorneys, pederasts, gas station attendants, malodorous, knock-kneed, amateur fishermen, drunk, and pallid.

But cowards? Most certainly not.

I may be an anonymous voice, but isn't that actually sligtly better than being famous and totally ignored?

P.S. Captain Dylan Hunt of the Andromeda!

Red Eye is Rupert Murdoch's idea of what "young people" watch. Which is like saying Tony Snow's cancer wasn't a curse from God for all the lies he told (which it was).

@Sarcastro: Don't forget frotagists.

Fox News: We Can Dish It Out, But We Can't Take It!

Man, anyone else read that headline and just think back to the only worthwhile thing from the nutty professor ?

HERC-A-LEES! HERC-A-LEES! HERC-A-LEES!!

aside from that, really don't care what ...that...whoever it was said something. gary? what was his name?

@Nic Fit: We prefer to be called "Frottage-Enthusiasts"

The man who shilled for the war machine doesn't deserve any compassion and, proudly, glee is taken. Where's the clip of Gutfeld urging compassion for Iraquis forced from their homes, killed or maimed? Or does his capacity for compassion exhaust itself on his fellow talking heads?