The Top Three Reasons Why The Official 'SATC' Movie Poster Sucks

For what seems like an entire century, ladies and ladyboys have been anxiously awaiting the release of the ultimate "chick flick," Sex And The City: The Movie (have we mentioned how godawful that title is by the way?). In any case, yesterday we had the privilege of seeing the final one-sheet for the film which is set to open next month. And almost immediately, we began griping about it (annoyingly, just the way Carrie Bradshaw whined over her column's bus ad during the first season). After the jump, we discuss all the various problems with this image, from that dress to that font to, well, almost everything, boiled down into three primary points:

The Top Three Reasons Why The Official 'SATC' Movie Poster Sucks

1) Where's The Classic Foursome Shot?: Yes, SJP is the star (and one of the EPs) of the series. But to feature only her on the poster is not only a slap in the face to her co-stars, each of whom are reduced to credits only, but confirms those rumors that SJP "demanded" that only she be the face of the poster. So congrats, Sarah Jessica. We get it. Kudos. You just didn't have to (literally) shove that fact in our face, k?

2) The Font's Angle Wouldn't Give Us A Headache...If We Were Stoned: How edgy! The credits, the title, and even SJP's stance is all wonkily crooked to the point where any effort we might have taken to read the small script would require tilting our heads to the side and squinting. Which really isn't fun at all. What's the point? New York is like, wild? Something more profound, like the girls are teetering on the edge of adulthood (a stage we're pretty sure we reached by Season Two)?

3) Pat Fields Has Officially Reached The Height Of Tackiness: From time to time, SATC costume designer and notoriously eccentric stylist Pat Fields has come through with a killer ensemble for the leading ladies. Sure, no "normal" girl could pull them off, but cinematically, they worked. And yet. We don't care if that blue smock is made of the purest crushed blue sapphires sourced straight from Burma; all we see is a shaggy shapeless rug. And don't get us started on the black fishnets. Really? No, really?

[Photo credit: WB/New Line via Firstshowing.net]