Happy Friday! What have you got planned this weekend? I haven't had a real weekend in a long while, what with pesky funerals and family visits getting in the way. But not this weekend, no sir. The whole thing is wide open. I might see a Gawker commenter tomorrow (don't worry I won't say which one!!!!!!) and that's about it. If I get bored at all, maybe I'll go do some "booger sugar" (really, Ben Widdicombe?) with this messy New York rock and or roller: "Which 'sensitive' heartthrob rocker does his best work with a snoot full of booger sugar? Girls who flock to his side at NYC clubs notice he can't go but five minutes between bathroom breaks." Sounds like fun, huh? Depressing, soulless fun. Two more items after the jump. Guess away and tell me what you're up to this weekend so I can try to avoid you! (Kidding!)

  • "This used to be B list actor on a hit comedy network show is now C list and hopefully fading fast. BIG dater this guy. Decided that he wanted to give the ladies a little something extra and so had a piercing inserted into a place that 99.999999999999999% of guys would say no thanks. Since he got it installed (is that the right word?) it has just been one big infection, and numerous trips to the doctor. Needless to say, unless his plan included giving the ladies a pus infected mess, he probably ain't getting any for a very long time." [Crazy Days and Nights]
  • And here, as I subject you to every Friday, is a snippet of Ted Casablanca's latest strange and mystical incantation: "Fanny Fecal-Farmer is so successful already with her reality boob-tube career, she's gone ahead and bought herself another swank Hollywood compound before unloading her present one. But uh-oh! Fanny first purchased back when the market was considerably more flush, and she was just beginning her rise to the top of the cheeky heap. She overpaid considerably." Read the rest of the spell here.