The Faithful Departed Morons

This noble task, the killing of the sinful, is not as easy as one may suspect. It is with a heavy heart that I ply the tools of my trade: the axe, the noose, the adorable little "kill kill kill" button that you all have next to your names. Trust that I do not take such responsibility lightly. For instance, I thought about executing everyone who doesn't like Tina Fey. Yet then I realized that tolerance—even of the incredibly stupid—is a virtue. But I am virtuous only to a point. Therefore, the really incredibly stupid lie headless after the jump.


Executed: Kaemon
Crime: If you're going to be a moron, try to limit the typos. And don't be a moron.

Executed: SSteele
Crime: I'm sorry if you thought you were the authority on the relative attractiveness of celebrities. You aren't. Moron.

Executed: TooManyTomatoes
Crime: Knock knock. Who's There? Dead Moron. Dead Moron who? TooManyTomatoes!

Executed: Mike_Jahn
Crime: I thought of something to guarantee your future anonymity! No more commenting!

A short list today. Mayhaps the rule of law has returned? We shall see. As always, condemnations, bribes, and pleas for mercy may be sent to GawkerExecutioner@gmail.com. Don't email Denton, Pareene, Richard, Sheila, Hamilton, Nick Douglas, Ryan, that Carnevale guy, Spiegelman, NickGuidoDenton, Morrissey, LolCait or anyone else from the Court of Gawker. I'm not them, and they don't care.