Sometimes I do things that aren't Gawker related. Usually I do them at night time. These activities include going to movies, taking walks with friends, reading a book at a diner counter, or getting stoned on the couch and squealing at the TV. OK, so I only actually do the last thing, but the point is I'm not (usually) on the computer at night. But you are. And so is Ryan Tate! Our tireless nighttime editor, so far away on the West Coast, is usually in bed when I ask for Commie submissions. So this morning he beat me to the punch and sent over some of his favorites. After the jump find five of the best sleepy time (night and early morning) comments, and of course your Party Pick of the week.
"Laura Bush always looks like she's one fallen soufflé away from climbing into a clock tower with a high-powered rifle."
"Is this applicable to court ordered community service?"
"I'm divided on the cleavage kissing issue."
Well, um it's really long. Click here to read.
"Judging from the dress, I think she becomes immortal by transforming into Cookie Monster. NOM-NOM-NOM."
Your Party Pick this week went to commenter kat who yukked it up in CNN's Freak Meth Head Ninja:
"I know that I leave my genitals on the bar, hanging on the backs of chairs, etc. all the time if they're not tied right to me. So I guess this is sort of a shibari pince nez. A pince nads, if you will."









Comments
All ur Commies are belong to Baugher.
Goddamn I love you Colonel Mustard!
Yay! Thanks Ryan. Protest pies for everyone.
@In Other News...: Is that a Protest Pie in your pocket or did you just win a Commie? Yay you.
@lawyergay: ME TOO!
@In Other News...: Richly deserved!
Congratulations to all and good on ya News.
Hooray! I feel so honored!
@lawyergay: Hooray! I feel so honored!
@mathnet: Challah!
I'm still awaiting the star for my commie last week. Do you have my right address?
Plaudits to DickDogFood because that NOM NOM NOM shit made me laugh my as... hey, where's my ass?
@rosaluxembourgeoise: @belltolls: @Nard38: (Blush) Thanks!
Congratulations! And grumbling.
@Colonel Mustard: Mustard, we all love you. Kudos!
Oh, and congratulations you all.
@moff: Oh Moff. Where were you for my "moquary" / Ralph McQuarrie post?
Give it up for the late night love!
Congrats, all!
@In Other News...: Looking at porno, I'll bet.
I know this isn't Cincinatti or radio, but still... can we call this the Venus Flytrap award?
Good work, all!
@moff: Grumbgratulations from me too!
@Bell County: That's cinnati, you hayseed.
Cookie Monster sound effects rule. Funny. Thanks!
This is a particularly funny group of commies. Congrats comrades. May all your protest pies be deep dish.
I did think that Conbon's complaint that his dad forgot Take Your Daughter to Work Day deserved some special mention. [gawker.com] Not just for old time's sake but because it also kicked off the FNFF.
Let me refresh your memory with one of my favorite Conbon posts:
"Conbon, I'm not your dad." -- Choire (my dad)
@AndSheSaid: TNFF
@In Other News...: I like comments where the commenter spent more time on the post than I did (or in the case Pareene). Actually, not always, but when it goes right!
@moff: You were probably robbed. I missed a lot this week!
@AndSheSaid: My commenters have the advantage of alcohol, not like the dayt... wait, nevermind!
@AndSheSaid: OMG, I actualy remember that one. That's like from forever ago, right?
@Ryan Tate: Day or night, NEVAR doubt my commitment to alcohol. Or commenting on your night shift posts. Or bitching about never getting a Commie, even from the night shift guy (who only has like 6 commenters to choose from anyway). I remain deeply committed to all these things... at least until tomorrow, when I will be deeply committed to the excitement of another Spiegelman Weekend.
@Ryan Tate: I also read your night shift posts...they don't go unnoticed or unappreciated by any means. Especially appreciated would be more send-ups of that preposterous Brooklyn-by-the-Bay also known as San Francisco. I went to an a capella performance at a locally owned bookstore in the Mission once that I'm still smarting from. But then I went home and watched "Joe Millionaire" so it was all okay.
@moff: Wookiee porno?
CHEWBACCA
RrrrRRRRRRAwr. RRRRRRRRRaaawrrr.
LEIA
What's wrong with this walking carpet?
HAN
He says his groin fur is all matted. Again.
LEIA
Well it's not MY fault he keeps breaking the condom.
CHEWIE (Amused.)
RRRRRRRRawrrrrr! GWWARrrrr RRRRAGHR!
HAN
Laugh it up, fuzzball! (To LEIA.) She's your headache now.
(HAN exits the room. LEIA goes to embrace CHEWIE.)
LEIA
Oh, Chewie. I love your big Wookiee dick.
CHEWIE
RrrrrrrrAWWWWrrrrrr!
@Ryan Tate: I think I just passed by the White Castle restaurant from the first Harold and Kumar. Next time I'll stop in and get you a few sliders as thanks!
@In Other News...: I would like a version of Star Wars without the Wookie stuff - is that too much to ask for? I mean it grates on me like NASCAR.
@AndSheSaid: poor dear, yes. he deserves so much to make up for all he's been deprived of
Mathnet has a pool - I am there in my mind!
@NinaHagen: Can I interest you in a little Skywalker twin action?
"Taboo 47: I Know You're My Sister, But I Still Wanna Leia"
@NinaHagen: Is that a little Eddie Izzard I read?
@Ryan Tate: This is just a tough field to compete in. I figure one Commie or so a year is a laudable average, especially with the likes of In Other News... around.
@In Other News...: Dude.
@Nard38: More fun, of course, is the "Naboo Taboo", where you do dirty things to Amidala's hair.
@NinaHagen:
C3PO
I am C-3PO. Human-cyborg relations. I -
YAR
I got out of uniform for you, Threepio.
C3PO
Oh, dear!
YAR
What I want now is gentleness. And joy. And love. You are fully functional, aren't you?
C3PO
I am fluent in over six million forms of communication -
YAR
No. (Suggestively.) I meant... fully functional.
C3PO
In every way, of course. I have been programmed in multiple techniques, a broad variety of pleasuring.
YAR
Yay! Take off your pants.
C3PO
Thank the Maker!
LUKE (over intercom)
Threepio! Threepioooooooo! Please turn off the trash compactor. Hello? Hello?
@In Other News...: Ok. Is it wrong if that turned me on?
@Ryan Tate: I too read yer late night posts. Without you night time is nothing.
@moff: Pretty sure this was in the deleted scenes on disc #4.
@donmiguel: Star Wars and Star Trek, unite. Literally.
@In Other News...: May I try a short one?
Lando Calrissian (to slave/dancer girl he rescued from Jabba's Ubrikkian luxury sail barge (on whom he's slowly going down))
Baby, the Rancor's not the only one who knows how to eat a dancer.
@Bell County: It's Cincinnati.
If I have to live here, you have to spell it right...
Thank you, folks. Actually, I think Betty Crocker's Grover comment, posted a split second before mine, is just as funny: [gawker.com]
Also, the comment was partly inspired by Mr. Goopymart, who made the ultimate NOM-NOM-NOM graphic: [www.flickr.com]
Night shift, checking in.
What's this, Ryan exposing insomniac talent?
That boy is sporting one oversized Pince Nads, indeed.
Excellent Commies, Congratulations All Around!
Aw shucks! If I'd known this was happening, I'd have worn my party harness with the popper bandolier.
I'm sorry. But this all seems deeply silly to me.
@Ryan Tate: Thanks, Ryan! It's two shots a whiskey and a comment chaser from now. Goodbye night shift at Denny's, hello world!
@Dickdogfood: You are gracious in victory, which is why I love you.
@