I just want to hear more about Richard's roommate. Now that's a reality show.

Somehow methinks Tom Stoppard had his hand in this.

Sharks are land-based. But very devious.

Thanks for that first tag Richard.

@depardoo: I'd watch that. Then Richard could comment on his own show. Of course, it would take an hour to wash the meta outa my hair, but the extra conditioning would be worth it.

Eh, my guilty pleasure shows always seem crappier when I watch them with someone else. That's why I only watch Scrubs in my bed with the covers pulled over my head.

I feel sorry for Audrina. Banished to the outhouse and drilled about JustinBobby...she is the only one who really works on that show. Like, works to live, not works to pass her time between parties. Team Audrina. And also, Heidi looks like a fetus.

If in need of alternative Monday night programming, I highly recommend Tru TV's "Beach Patrol," the love child of COPS and Baywatch, where viewers are treated to a marathon of tourist drownings and drunken boaters.

It's even better than it sounds!

I can't really put this together, mainly because my brain can't grasp the concept of an entity (something that exists in the world -- in this case, this particular episode) that actually has less substance than your TYPICAL installment of 'The Hills'.

@depardoo: Yes! I'd much rather watch tv of those two watching tv.

@Chaim Gnadelstein: It seems to be something similar to the mathmatical concept of i

The producers have clearly giving up on continuing to disguise this show as reality. Last week's botched, poorly edited (and Mean Girls-esque) move-in conversation between the LC/Lo/Audrina trifecta, and this week's Pratt coffee house moments, make me feel like a douchebag for loving this show as much as I do. Ugh! Successfully manipulated by MTV again.

Aww....Poor LC looks totally devastated when Stephen mentions totally platonic. She tries to reel him back in with the parent comment, and he looks horrified.

I mean. I hate this show.

@BadUncle: And I'd rather watch you, watch them.

@Botswana Meat Commission FC:

Greatest Baywatch episode ever was the Hass performing emergency open heart surgery on an unconscious swimmer with the cap from a BIC ballpoint pen. That was must-see TV.

I've moved on to The Paper. That Amanda girl is going places!

@depardoo:
Yes, that was great.

But you haven't lived until you've seen the COPS special "Tazed and Confused".

Best. Reality show name. Ever.

Last night on Jon and Kate Plus Eight, all eight kids had the flu. There was vom and poo everywhere! Apparently, as Richard has confirmed, the exact same thing happened The Hills, but purely unintentional.

@EleanorRigby: Oh how I love that show. "Turn and cough!"

@Richard: "Will you be my girlfriend <3?"

This show is like watching paint stay wet.

First I though that the show should be canceled for its too-liberal use of the words bro and drama. Now they go and use the word 'money' to show glee over calamari? It's like they don't even want me to watch anymore.

This show makes me want to kill again.

I caught the repeat a half an hour and said - this show can literally be wrapped up in a five minute span. And whenever Whitney doesn't make an appearance, I know its gonna suck. At what point are we going to stop pretending a 20 something year old college student can afford a 2 million dollar house in the Hollywood Hills to pal around with friends in?

@CopyofBlueboy: Do it!!!

@richardmarxhatesmyhair: everything about that comment was perfect.

what the hell is Lo's problem? has she always been this bitchy? bad things happen when people revert to their high school friends.

the lauren/stephen thing seemed pretty manufactured.

@EleanorRigby: the awkwardness of the misspelled middle school 'omg will you be my gf lol' type text killed what could have been something beautiful. meaning the show, not those two crazy kids.

Therein lies the sly allure of The Hills. All season, I've been mocking the Hillside Villas apartment as a contrived attempt to play up Lauren and Whitney's life as lowly interns. Then, when they move into a gorgeous house more befitting of their *ahem* fame, I felt outraged and cheated.

Although, that was probably because I was finally confronted with the realization that these twits are actually bringing in much more bank than I am, so much so that they can't even downplay it anymore.

LC cuts her meat and chews like she was born in a barn. And yes, that was a double entendre.

if you want a real sign of the apocolypse, check out the rolling stone cover with the four ladies.

Did my eyes deceive me last night, or was Heidi wearing rubber leggings? Ick. Last night's episode was like an entertainment black hole. But of course I will watch again next week, because I am stupid.

You can't shine a turd. If these ladies don't have anything going on that is interesting in their lives, that makes for horribly bad tv. And not the kind of bad tv that makes for killer clips on Talk Soup, but the kind where everyone interacts like they have asperger's syndrome and does really bad improv. And, btw, how much quality tv can be expected from producers at MTV. I mean, cm'on now.

@izzodee544: Yes, Lo has always been a catty mean girl, but that's why we love her. Or at least I thought we did - I did. And I will continue to as long as it warms my little black heart.

My favorite part was the previews for next week, when we learn that Heidi is going to be an integral part of emo Brent Bolthouse's new projects. Such a coincidence! Heidi's "role" in the company is expanded every time there is a new Bolthouse project to promote. He is so lucky there are cameras following her, so not only does he get her G.E.D. level experience, but free advertisement as well.

"the hills: 30 minutes of awkward chewing"