Do not order the quarter pounder.

He should open a shop in the green zone.

@Richard: I hear the hot apple pie is delicious.

This was like reading a page out of an Arthur Nercessian novel. I love it. If you haven't read The Fuck-Up you are severely missing out.

The greeters at Wal-Mart show less of their genitals 67% of the time.

sounds like being a gawker commenter

Sweet sizzling chicken nuggets that's a bright store front!

I really want some Super Size Porn, but I'm on a diet, so I'll just order from the 99¢ porn menu.

The greatest sign ever appeared in ShowWorld: "You Drop It, We Mop It".

The ShowWorld ladies are now wearing little Bruce Oldfield numbers.

@Richard: And definitely avoid the Royale with cheese.

There's a Burger King on the basement floor of a building on 8th Avenue where the peep show with the laxest upkeep in the area used to be. Gross.

My buddy Jess used to refer to a hot dog at Papaya King, followed by a visit to ShowWorld, as "dinner and a show". Class.

@Richard: I'm thinking anything with the "special sauce" would also be a no, no.

Those were some days - I lived in the West 30's in 1980 - it was like the Wild West. There was one place on 42nd St. with a balcony where the owner had put out a table with some mannequins dressed in stripper wear having plastic cocktails. And then there was the gay porn theatre which that summer had an extended by popular demand run of "Wet Shorts."

You don't order a Milkshake, you "soft" serve out your own!

When I moved to New York, I'd not had a bit of mansex and was actually living the "straight" life. During my first week in town, the company that moved me here actually hadn't figured out exactly where they were putting me, so I had a week staying at Hotel Pennsylvania, just apartment-hunting by day and carousing by night.

One night found me drunk and popping into the Playpen. I went to one of the straight girl booths and popped in my quarters, thinking I could watch whatever was happening inside. A stripper came right up to the window and reached for me. Terrified (her hair was platinum with black roots in the wrong way), I abandoned the booth.

It was a sign of gayness to come.

I used to have a friend that worked at the Show World back in the 90's. I was always amazed at how much money she was able to earn by strip shows done behind glass. It reminds me of the Madonna Open Your Heart video, but w/o the pasties! I am glad a Porn Palace was able to thrive despite Rudy's reign of terror.

@Nina

Not exactly on topic, but...

If you're not familiar with it, Luc Sante's New-York-of-yesteryear essay My Lost City is probably the finest of its kind.

"...Already in the mid-1970s, when I was a student at Columbia, my windows gave out onto the plaza of the School of International Affairs, where on winter nights troops of feral dogs would arrive to bed down on the heating grates. ..."

I've noticed that when I try explaining to young folks what NYC was like 30 years ago, they get a dull-eyed slack-jawed look, which I interpret as either boredom or a mild stroke.

At any rate, Sante does a fantastic job of evoking the dreamlike atmosphere of dereliction that used to pervade the city.

I think you'll probably love it: [www.nybooks.com]

(Although I think there's something fundamentally wrong with me morally, mentally, or both, to ache for something that was in many respects so fucking awful.)

Don't forget Josh Alan Friedman's Tales of Times Square!

[feralhouse.com]

And the movie:

[www.timessquaremovie.com]

My favorite thing about the Robin Byrd Show was that you would find out who was "headling" at Show World. and she would occassionally have one of the "Chicks with Dicks" from Show World perform on her show.

@UpThoseStairs: Not just Show World. She also had those sad ones who were headlining at shitty titty bars in Long Island City or Sunset Park. Is that show still on? Since I moved to Brooklyn I miss all the crappy shows on Channel 35.

@Carol Gardens: Sorry, but I was amazed at Friedman's ability to make his subject matter boring. Did not like.

@Carol Gardens: Yeah, it's still there, providing the occasional unpleasant surprise when flipping amongst channels at night.

I asked for mayo to dip my fries in, they said "make your own".

I did. (did not dip my fries in it though)

Years ago on a half-day Friday I left work in midtown and wandered Hell's Kitchen reeling from a breakup with my first love and found myself at this establishment. Mostly curious and feeling risky and lonely I went in and downstairs where it was not very busy and was greeted with a chorus of "Hey, handsome" and chose a brunette in a pink bikini to enter a small closet-like room and look at in a similar room through a clear plastic partition. She offered me various performances and special services in another room. I declined and left, after paying her for nothing really, just a brief pseudo-intimate interaction with a woman. Went home and watched "Betrayal" on the VCR.

@heyimtalkinhere:

No offense intended, but that just squeezed all the sexy out of sex.

@depardoo: I have steamier stories but they don't involve the subject of this post.

@FitnessMadeSimple: Just in case anyone heeds your excellent advice and goes looking for this novel, it's "Nersesian". Definitely worth a read.