Gawker
Hey, look. The girls from The Hills (tears are streaming down my face right now) are on the cover of this month's Rolling Stone rock and roll, modern times, Peter Travers poop fest magazine. It's the first time that Lauren and Heidi (who hate each other so goddamn much they think about it sometimes when they are driving and want to run over a pigeon or forget it all and move to Rhode Island and teach the third grade and eat fried clams sometimes in the summer and maybe fumble towards Happy) have been at the same photo shoot in like fucking forever. Apparently it was cold, but civil and everyone got through it OK.
Note the positions: Heidi stands, offering her ass up to the heavens and to men, ready for any sordid penetration. Audrina poses in an old, sexy style because she's an idiot and cried when she invited Jessica Rabbit to her 20th birthday party and she didn't show up and no one bothered to explain to her that Jessica Rabbit isn't real. Lauren is trying to look fun or animate or something and has maybe just peed herself. And dear old Whitney has fallen asleep or is dead. Look at the four of them all happy and stupid! They're just like the Sex and the City girls! Except, you know, real. Oh, and speaking of dead, down below watch Heidi crying over the sad death of her step-brother. Then watch as she snaps right back and talks about how bitchy Lauren is. Then, you can hear it faintly, a violin string snaps.
Comments
Yet another in Rolling Stone's monthly series of "Low Point In Rolling Stone's history" covers.
She missed him so much she partied in Vegas after his funeral.
Why no mention of their $25,000-a-night escort service? That's newsworthy.
Rolling Stone is the new Gawker.
They look so young and innocent you would never think that they eat babies.
@lothario: I don't know what that means. But it makes me upset nonetheless.
Clearly, I've been erring in looking at Heidi from the waist up.
This cover makes feel Funky, Angry, Radical
The way she discreetly shifted from "mourn mode" to "lemme-get-in-one-more-potshot-at-Lauren-for-the-sake-of-publicity" mode appalled me.
I know I shouldn't put much stock in any of this, as Heidi is dumber than a pile of rocks, but is there some switch in their (teh Hillz girls) brains that keeps them from experiencing disgust, embarassment, or shame? Because if my present life were such a complete and utter sham I think I would have to take regular breaks to throw up before doing these horrifically manufactured interviews. Shudder.
@FreshTyn: Really? The only thing these people could do that would make me appalled, would be to act like a sane individual for once...let alone a sane group of people.
i wish i had not canceled my subscription 10 years ago so i could do it right now!
@adminslave: Nope, they're all brain-stem only. They "act" and give interviews based solely on involuntary muscle movement (similar to the paristaltic movment of your intestines). I'm rather impressed by it actually.
@derby: I don't see what this has to do with Better Homes & Gardens, but whatever.
Is it me, or does Kristen Davis look like she is about to push her upper torso off the top of her hips?
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