Gawker

It's like PostSecret, only with a whiny voice asking why you don't call anymore.

Jealous?

I will gladly sell you the rights to turn your posts, and my comments thereon, into a book.

Of course, I'm assuming both of these things already belong to Moz Denton.

...with a foreword by Wilmer Valderrama.

Pareene, I think you should start a support group with the former co-workers of the guy who invented the pet rock.

i want a dollar for my mom's e-mail.

And yet no one wants to buy my "Telegrams From Yo Rutherford B. Hayes" website.

@Richard: Make it "Telegrams From Yo Richard M. Nixon," and Smails and I'll each go in half.

I have one vaguely threatening email from Dom Dunne for sale. Let the bidding begin.

Remember when you guys wrote a book? But didn't actually write it? Yourselves!

@TheHonJudgeSmails:

GAWKERERS
Esrtwhile Wit from the Faceless Commenters
of the Best Website In the Known Universe

as told to NICK DENTON

edited by GODDAMN IT, PAREENE!

with comedic vignettes by SMAILS, MOFF, HEZ,
TEDSEZ, KUO, LOLCAIT and NEWTOJEZEBEL

(okay last one was a joke)

Published by RANDOM HOUSE

Retail price $24.95
at Amazon: $7.86

Music by PHILLIP GLASS

No animals were harmed in the publicaton of this book.
The editing process, however, killed two chinchillas.

READ THE HYPERION BOOK

Copyright MMVIII Gawker Media. All rights reserved. That means YOU, Smails!

@In Other News...: I would read it, but I would also jot funny responses next to the comments and then get angry when I flipped back and no one had jotted any responses to mine.

So it would be a lot like real Gawker.

Wait, that's tricky from a copyright/intellectual property standpoint, isn't it? Or all the moms being identified as contributors and being paid for it?

@Richard: Hayes doesn't translate to the modern audience. "Chester A. Arthur's Most Illuminating Horse-D'livered Correspondencings" would do boffo biz, tho.

@moff: Okay! Okay! Here's my response.

"Ipso facto, you sonuvagun!"

Fake Nick Denton is on the phone with MTV Books right this very second.

@In Other News...: Don't get all fancy on me with your Spanish.

@Ray Gunn: First post there was as follows:
"Legalese From Yo Momma
We reserve the right to publish your postcards at our own discretion. We also reserve the right to use and modify postcards as standard procedure. When you email Postcards From Yo Momma, you are granting us the right to a royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, fully sub-licensable, exclusive right to use, reproduce, modify, translate, adapt, publish, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, display, and delete such content in other works in any form, media or technology now known or hereafter developed."

Which is pretty standard, good, solid disclaimer language. Query, however, whether one coming lately to "Postcards" might be reasonably given proper notice of the transfer of title to the intellectual [sic] property of his or her mother by the appearance of said disclaimer on page (now) 55 of the blog.

@moff: I used to pronounce Spaniard SPAIN-yard. That's how good my Spanish is.

@flipper baby: Thx for that. I'm just sayin', if I was a mom I'd be miffed. The rights to that content aren't the kids' to relinquish.

I just love the image of the duck playing the in gold coins. When I was 8 I daydreamed about swimming in those piles of cash with huey duey and louey.

@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: woo-oo!

@In Other News...: You included me in your fake book!!!! I believe I am federally mandated to make out with you right now. (Which doesn't mean I won't enjoy it! Or you!)

CONGRATULATIONS, DOREE!

@narnio: Nobody remembers when they wrote a book. I think Nick actually had the whole incident officially erased from history.