Gawker
Hey, remember where Tom Cruise held his birthday party? Jog your memory with Gawker's EXCLUSIVE VIDEO of the embarrassing 2004 celebration. That's right: on the MV Freewinds, the massive "cruise ship" training center for the highest level members of the Church of Scientology. Bad news for aspiring OT VIIIs: the ship's been sealed and docked in Curacao due to the discovery of "significant amounts of blue asbestos" all over her. Blue asbestos is the insulating material that's been banned in the US for years because of all the lung cancer it causes. And, obviously, the 40-year-old cruise ship has been contaminated with it since day one—putting the lives of nearly all OT VIII Scientologists at risk! According to a CNN I-Report: "An affidavit filed in 2001 by Lawrence Woodcraft, a former Scientologist and trained architect, claims that Woodcraft encountered the fibrous minerals while working on the ship in 1987, and promptly informed Scientology leaders." And they didn't do anything about it for 20 years. So where does a Scientologist go when he dies of mesothelioma?
You could check the recently leaked "bibles" of the Church—we don't have time to go through all 600 pages of drug-addled scifi nonsense. But we do know that "people" are not "people," but rather immortal alien spirits called thetans who will indeed live on well after the dead of their shell bodies, so a Scientologist doesn't need to worry about nonsense like cancer. Which could be why they never bothered to remove it from their fancy ship! The Level 8 Operating Thetans on board will live forever anyway.
Of course, without the training courses for OTs available only on the Freewinds, it'll be much harder for celebrities like Cruise and Jenna Elfman to achieve Cleared Theta Clear level, the point at which they become gods capable of creating their own universes.
Comments
That explains a lot. It's all crystal clear to me now. Where do I sign up again?
The ship needs to be Xenuded of this carcinogen.
Sillies, its not Asbestos, it's Inspiration Ions left by the clearest ancestors to guide us to our highest operating levels. The hacking cough, wheezing and black lung are all just signs that you are not yet open enough to accept their teachings.
That explains all the celebrities I see coming and going from Weitz and Luxenberg's offices...
Is there an e-meter large enough to audit a ship?
I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
Thetans climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
It would be really terrible if nearly every top-levl OT-whatever Scientologist suddendly died.
I grew up in Clearwater, Florida...I can assure you that they don't care if any of their members die...as long as they aren't rich and famous (see: Lisa McPherson).
I don't trust anybody from Curacao. Where was Andruw Jones when this was going on?
And I thought space aliens ate asbestos for breakfast!? Duh.
@JinxyMcDeath:
Did you read the Radar story about Scientology v. Anonymous?
A lot of it was just the writer walking around the streets of Clearwater and being followed/photographed.
If I need to be sealed and docked, Curacao couldn't be a better place.
(As sung to the Love Boat theme)
Lungs
Exciting and blue
Lungs
Come aboard
We're destroying you!
Asbestos - offering something for everyone
Asbestos - soon you'll be needing another lung
A European fellow gave the Freewinds Ship Office a ring:
+ Watch video
Scientology's line seems to be that the ship is just being refitted and hasn't been quarantined... really.
I wouldn't be surprised if the CoS knowingly exposed its member to asbestos for years, as it seems in line with some of the past behavior of the organization.
Apparently the official thinking goes something like this: L. Ron Hubbard was an "expert" in all things nautical and sailor-y, he only ever wrote about the dangers of fibreglass (which was evidently removed from the ship in mass quantities); therefore asbestos is not a dangerous material. /eyerolling
@Xylo: Also, cancer (I don't know if this includes mesothelioma in official Sci thinking) is caused by some kind of 2D relationship difficulty. Apparently. (Has anyone ever investigated these bozos for practicing medicine without a license??)
Asbestos is the new black[lung].
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: @JinxyMcDeath: After visiting that fine city and being stalked going in and out of every building, I was intrigued enough to do my senior thesis on Co$ and its affects within Hollywood. I am still on their mailing list to this day. Got a letter from L.Ron just a few days ago. He's more prolific than Tupac!
+ Watch video
A little slow aren't we Gawker. I sent you guys this story yesterday. Thanks for the link:) You're welcome.
[glosslip.com]
"All right, OT VIII's, it's the moment you've been waiting for. Upon reaching this most coveted of all OT levels, you've all received a complementary gift bag filled with prizes! Of course, by 'prizes', I mean 'tumors', and by 'gift bags', I mean 'your lungs'."
~actual quote by David Micaviage.
Scientologists don't BELIEVE in Asbestos. Problem solved!
@Artful Slinger says...: (Thetans in the reply key, apparently) I soooo want to read that thesis! I sent you a PM about it.
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?