Please Politely Welcome Jeffrey Goldberg to the Internet

Atlantic contributor Jeffrey Goldberg started his very first blog this week, with a charmingly naive post mostly about how he knows nothing about blogging but does sit near uber-blogger Andrew Sullivan. "This is almost certainly a mistake," he begins, and it turns out he's 100% right. When the New York Observer's media blogger Matt Haber (the forgotten Gawker Alum!) devoted a post yesterday to basically announcing the existence of Goldberg's blog and needling Goldberg for his initial boneheaded support of the Iraq War, Goldberg blew up with rage. Haber's post was a mugging, he says. Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey. We'll show you what a mugging is.

Sitting next to Andrew Sullivan does not mean you have anything to contribute. Especially if you are so inexperienced in this raucous online world that you take such offense at a harmless dig in a post designed to call readers' attention to your brand-new unread online diary.

So Goldberg bitched to Andrew Sullivan, who was understandably "unimpressed." The nice way of saying he didn't give a shit, because he's actually got a thick skin. So Goldberg called Haber, who didn't understand what the hell he was on about. Then, "unappeased," Goldberg called Jack Shafer for some reason to whine that the Observer took his lunch money. And Shafer humored him. Mean Matt Haber should've called you for comment!

The absolute last thing the "blogosphere" needs is another boring old center-left "real journalist" magazine writer dipping his toes into the overcrowded wading pool. Hooray, another liberal hawk is here to write 1,000-word hand-wringing posts about Israel and occasionally link to something terribly interesting he read in the New Republic!

From Goldberg's intro post:

I hope to blog, when the spirit moves me, on the future of Israel, the coarsening of American life, the Jewish predisposition toward dissatisfaction, the Mets (see previous), Dylan and Springsteen, the perfidies of Wal-Mart, genocide in Africa, gun control, the civilizational struggle within Islam, airline delays, screenwriting and the bleakness of journalism.

Lord fucking save us.