Time Magazine's 100 most influential people of 2008 have been chosen, and as if on cue, Miley Cyrus gets the wide-eyes-and-wonder treatment from none other than Donny Osmond. But this isn't just another convenient thematic tie-in of wholesome media figures — no! Written before the whole Vanity Fair photo flap, Osmond's blurb is easily the most uncannily prescient piece of writing since Paddy Chayefsky sat down to pen Network:
Within three to five years, Miley will have to face adulthood. Fans grow up, and their youthful interests quickly dissolve. Her challenge will be overcoming the Hannah Montana stereotype. Miley's fans are not thinking about the fact that she will grow up too. As she does, she'll want to change her image, and that change will be met with adversity. It's next to impossible to fight, embrace, use or love your image. Trust me. I've seen this all play out before; it's the same ball game, just different players in a different time.
But Miley has an amazing support team. She seems to have good Christian values, with parents (including dad Billy Ray) teaching her important life lessons. She has management that has seen this phenomenon through before—Jim Morey's company—Jim managed me during my Puppy Love days. I hope Miley enjoys every minute of this brief experience before her inevitable reinvention takes place. It's going to make a fascinating book someday. I'll read it.
You see? "Puppy Love" is the obvious Osmond analogue to "Teenagers fuck," as we declaimed yesterday in waving off the Miley controversy, and Nostradonny's glimpse into his crystal ball saw this reality coming a mile away. Disingenuous apologies aside, Jim Morey's careful management of Cyrus's "inevitable reinvention" is off to a dynamite start, and we, too, look forward to reading her ghostwritten memoir sooner than later — particularly Chapter Eight, simply titled "Annie" and already promised as an excerpt to Vanity Fair in 2010.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]